Rest In Peace, Cheeko

Today, July 1, a very dear family pet has left us.

May you rest in peace Cheeko.

Crumbling

I never thought I would fall sick, that sick till I could not even move my limbs without feeling as if I was going to crumble onto the floor.

That was how weak I was, every single part of my body were aching, wind blowing at me felt like ice spikes thrown at me.

Luckily, there Hubs helped out with some housework, especially with dishwashing, which I avoided like mad because water running on my hands were rather a torture, when I am feeling the chills all over.. cold feet, cold palms.

I had such a massive headache, and both eyes felt they were on fire. Didn't help with my nose acting up crazy and followed by the ears which decided they wanted to feel stuffed up too.

Worst of all mother of such sickness, was the sore throat which hurt so bad, it woke me up every single minute I fall asleep. Yes, I did not get almost any sleep for the past two days, downing lots of water and honey and tea and whatever didn't help. Strepsils and NinJiom lozenges were the only comfort to my throat while they lasted in my mouth. That was it.

Other than that, I was suffering inside out and trying to keep my game together while making sure I don't miss Jaden's dosage rounds until last night at 330am when he decided to put up a fight and half of the med went into the mouth, half spitted out and so I did not want to take the risk of overdosing that little feisty one and decided to abandon the round.

Gonna start again the coming weekend and hoping I will be all good and healthy enough to find a way to make those night/dawn feed a success without having to wake the boy up or to have one to fight against.

Nasty Bug

The nasty bug got to me finally and I thought I could avoid it.

Sick at the most wrong time, when I decided to start AC Chelation on Jaden, lacking of proper deep sleep from the 4 hourly dosing for the next 72 hours (started out yesterday afternoon) which will only end on Monday morning.

Nasty sore throat, ears seems to be a bit stuffed too, not to mention the sinus that is partying at large and mini headaches that comes and go, backache due to PMS .. *sigh*

happens only when you think when things could not get any worse.. I suddenly feel like puking. *CRAP*

We survived day 1 of Chelation and now, I am on to day 2, waiting for 330pm to arrive before I give him his dosage.

Have a few encounter with yeast last night but I topped additional antifungal for him today, during breakfast and he seems fine so far.. hoping I am at the right dosages of antifungal for now. :)

Throne of Glory

Jaden took a dump in the toiletbowl. At someone else's house some more. Can't be much more happier than anything. He made his first step, in pooing into the toiletbowl. Next time, home toiletbowl. :)

TCM no more

Remember how I said Jaden was so traumatised at the last movie screening he went to? Madagascar III?

Well, today, I had to get something real quick at Tropicana City Mall and when we were making a turn into the car park, he started whining. Then he started to have this cries in between where I have to assure him that we weren't going to the movies.

What surprised me most is that he REMEMBERS!

He remembered the car park, the building, the whole thing.. he wanted to take off his shirt again in the car! LOL

But I got to do what I had to and I quickly took him down with me, got what I needed to get in a jiffy and off we went into the car and out of Tropicana City Mall. Everything done in less than 10 minutes if I am not wrong.

So I guess we won't be seen anywhere in Tropicana City Mall for a very long time now.. his fear is no longer just the cinema area but Tropicana City Mall itself now.

But

"You know, you have to be realistic." and then something along the line about me that should not be in denial.

I get it. I got everything loud and clear.

I did not cry this time. I was strong. I tried to be, NO.. I HAD TO BE !!!

I appreciate the good intentions and the wonderful suggestions that came along with it, which I never really had heard of before. An eye opener to what other areas I can explore with my little one but ..

Yes, there is a but to everything.

The headmistress offered to help me call up a friend of hers who run a smaller kindy, which might just be right to cater to seeing to Jaden's learning growth and allowing him to socialize comfortably but ...

I have to wait out till next month to let the lady try out her first special needs child. If she could cope with that little one, then the headmistress will then direct me to her and let me liase with the lady personally and work out something for Jaden but...

I like the vast school ground, the one I just visited. Jaden was looking adoringly at the playground and the green field. Yes, he might just run wild there, out of the class when they are suppose to be learning. Not a very good idea.

The headmistress I talked to this time is a therapist herself and what she shared with me and the advice she gave was really good, how I can explore Jaden's untapped potential. Yes, we should try to reach into his potential while he is still young and his hunger to want to learn more new things.

Its time I sit down and have a heart to heart talk with his ABA supervisor and OT therapist whom I greatly respect for all the things they are doing for our special needs children.

So, I guess you can tell by now, we just got rejected yet again but...

I will still continue this fight together with Jaden, for Jaden.

BUT

it wouldn't kill to try again, would it?

Rejection -worse than the rest

When you thought nothing could be as bad as the rejection from your first love or the first breakup with the one true love you swore he was ...

I find this rejection I just got this morning much more worse than anything I have ever felt before.

Jaden was not on his best behavior, refusing to comply with me and go into the kindergarten and he lied down on the floor. So I left him outside at the porch area with his father while I went into the office to have a talk with the headmistress.

So, yea.. all the 'kind' words of rejection start pouring in, that they are not trained well enough to handle special needs children and those that they have with them are much more smaller and still, they have their tantrums and the teachers are finding it hard to cope with that too. The ratio was 1:20 students at one go and that they don't think they will be able to deliver to help guide Jaden so she suggested another school for me.

and the best thing was, while I was in tears having that conversation with the headmistress, I got this message that said, "R we just waiting in the hot sun?"

as you can tell what my reaction was to that.. and THAT WAS THE LEAST OF MY CONCERN !!

I really could not be bothered to reply to such insensitive sarcastic question while I am trying to get a place for my son in a proper school.

I KNOW he is a delayed learner. I KNOW that he has his staying still issues. I KNOW ! I KNOW ! I KNOW !

The father, seeing his son reacted that way and looking at the children inside the class, sitting down and talking and singing, told me straightaway that Jaden is not ready for school and he should just continue with his ABA and do home-schooling.

HOME-SCHOOLING? who? He will do it? Its definitely not going to be me! THAT I can SAY NOW ! I am not discipline enough to home-school him and where is he going to learn his social interaction from?

I am not sending him to school because I want him to learn like those other children, to do their homework.. I am sending him to school because I want him to be exposed to other children, how schooling life is and if possible, he might pick up some learning skills too ...

Of course children do have their first day issues or crying when they are at unfamiliar places but that does not mean you don't send them to school because they don't like it...

I dropped the father off at his office and off I went to the other kindergarten that was suggested to me.

Jaden acted just fine. Got down the car, no tantrums, took off his shoes and went inside the school with me and stayed near to me, stimming now and then while I was having a chat with the school administrator.

She explained to me and did not reject me immediately like the previous one but say that once the father and I decided that we want to try out this school, then give her a call and she will arrange a day for Jaden to come in and she will observe how he is when put in class.

I kind of like the school too.. but I am going to give another one that I am eyeing, where the headmistress herself is actually a special needs teacher (ABA) if I am not mistaken.. I already gave that school a call too so I am just waiting for callback for an appointment.

The rejection earlier is still haunting me and my tears well up each time the moment is played back in my mind. How weak can I possibly get?