Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Every day is a long day for mama

Finally, some time to myself after both the little ones have gone to bed and I don't feel like sleeping just yet.

In a blink of an eye, it is almost half of 2015 and I do not think Jaden has progressed much compared to last year. 

The only thing I considered that he has successfully achieved, that can be said, another milestone hit is going to toilet to poo. He would still poo in the diapers if given a choice. He will not take the initiative to want to remove the diapers to go to toilet. That is why he is diaper-free at home now, except nap or bedtime or when we are going out for long hours, especially when time is mostly spent in the car. I can't see myself rushing to find him a toilet with Mason in hand all by myself just yet.

School is also teaching him how to verbalise sounds, such as bye bye, which he can actually verbalised it but he will not say it unless you ask him to. He rather signed bye bye instead. 

I am becoming more impatient with him, as he grows older. Not because he is slow but because of his refusal to listen and look. This boy of mine, if he looks at what he is supposed to do, he always gets it right, at least 95% right BUT he rather not look. Not sure if it has something to do with his strabismus and 3D vision and that is also worrying me out. I have already contacted the vision therapist, yet to get a reply from him. Too many clients, maybe? I did not really had a good experience the first time round, especially with his team of helpers. Hopefully after two/three years, they have learnt how to handle non-verbal autistic children. I really hope vision therapy can help Jaden because surgery is the last thing I would want for him. Surgery, afterall is just cosmetics but it is the 3D vision that I want Jaden to have, so that he can view his surroundings normally like us. I don't even know what his vision is like right now as he is clumsy and *sigh* off balance in everything.

He is a smart boy. Too smart for his own good. Smart in a bad way, that he act-smart in trying to do short-cuts when those short-cuts are not meant to be taken. That is why, those things pisses me off. Things that he knows how to do, he refuses to do them. He rather close his eyes and cry. *double sigh* 

He gets distracted so easily but that, every child does. The fact that he cannot be independent enough to complete a task drives me up the wall. Lately, his school has been giving him homework during the weekend to take home to occupy his time and because of him being up to no good if he were to do his homework in the living room, I had to bring his table and chairs into the kitchen, sit him there to do his work while I try to clean the dishes, do my laundry and cook. HOWEVER, I will always end up at least, for two hours, with my blood pressure rising, trying to prompt him the right way to do his task, which he ALWAYS, ALWAYS try to take short-cuts and end up screwing the whole task. Once he masters it, after the two hours of continuously doing the same task, and I thought I could use a breather and backaway and go do my dishes, just a few feet away from him, he starts daydreaming. HOW LAH NOT TO PUKE BLOOD? 

It is really mentally and physically draining for me, and it is not only due to Jaden zapping all my energy but because of Mason too. In amidst all the tension in between his brother and I, the small one suddenly comes in between and wants to run off with his brother's homework, he wants me to go and play with him, he wants to breastfeed, he wants to climb onto the table... and I had to be stern and tell him to go play by himself as I am teaching Jaden. I really feel so bad because I can't seem to spread my time out for both boys equally as they deserve. 

I always want to bring them out at 6-630pm to the park and play but I can't.. because I have to prepare dinner, or drive out to buy dinner for the hubs. Because I had to clean up the mess the boys made earlier during the day. Because I have not bathed yet the whole day. Because I need to do the dishes. Because I have not hung the laundry yet. 

I have got piles of clean laundry that needs to be kept away, old/small clothes that needs to be stored away since weeks ago and I, still, have not gotten down to that. Each time I see those clothes around, I get frustrated and I am just waiting for that one day, the man to sound me for being such a lazy ass.

Jaden has been getting alot of mosquito bites, and now, even more rashes due to the food he eats and it makes him itchy and that triggers him to scratch until he bleeds. He can't stop scratching the wound until it scars and now he looks like a kucing kurap and it depresses me a lot because I feel very sakit hati to see him looking like that. He, is not aware of how he looks with those marks around him but I don't want others to say him in future and hurt his feelings. All I can do is now, work with his school team and ask them to help me curb this scratching behavior. I do apply cream on him, but how lah the cream work when he tends to rub them off when my head turns?

Mason is not 1 year 5 months 18 days old. 

He has just lift off his two feet today successfully. He has finally mastered the jump. 

Super cute.

What can I say about Mason? He eats whatever we eats and he seems pretty much ok with food that has black pepper too. He seem to tolerate spicy food better than Jaden when Jaden was his age.

He is verbalising more now but I am still pretty paranoid because they do not sound like proper words to me. 

Words that we have taught him and he seems to know are:-
Bird
Poo
Shee Shee
Soup
Shoe
Socks
Cat Meow Meow
Bus
Flower
I
Milk (Buh)
Mango (Go)
Kor Kor
Car
Open (O)

Words that he verbalises properly is Car, Kor Kor, Go for Mango, Buh, O.

He says O quite frequently to me because he needs to me to help him open his toy storage zips or bottle caps. Buh is the most frequent word as he says that everytime he sees me sitting down. In fact, I am so scared of sitting down in mere sight of him as he would come running up to me, pull up my shirt, says Buh and helps himself to his milk. I always, always teach him how to say I want milk but he only says Buh. I remembered just last year, he says Please when he wants milk.. at least there was a please.. now, its straight to self-service with no question asked if possible.

I have also taught him how to sign thank you and make him sign while I say it each time I helped him with something. Hopefully one day, he will say thank you to me.

He also dances to high-5 songs, trying to imitate different movements the children makes. Loves Chuggington! He can sit quietly on the sofa and watch the whole 30 minutes of Chuggington. 

Just today, I walked around the house with my hands at the back and he, too, followed me from behind doing exactly the same action. 

He knows all our routine. 

When Hubs go to the keys area, he runs to the balcony door, waiting for Hubs as he knows Hubs is going to unlock the balcony door and go outside. When Hubs comes in, he runs to the kitchen sink and wait for Hubs because he knows Hubs is going to wash his hands.

When Jaden runs to the toilet, he will follow and try to hold Jaden's pants for him and hands it over to the brother when the brother comes out of the toilet. 

When Jaden washes his hands, he observes. When Jaden wipes his hands, he observes. When Jaden shakes his hands dry, he observes and he imitates all these actions when I asked him to do it. 

Today, he looked at me in the eye and said something that sounded like Poo! and he started to make that poo face. I thought I misheard him and that he was just pulling my legs as usual. He tends to be really cheeky too, you see because right after he made that poo face, he smiled at me and I did check his diapers, it was clean. Then I said, if you want to poo, let us go to the toilet and immediately he ran towards the safety gate at the staircase. He wants to go up to the toilet to poo. Then he started his poo face again and this time, it was for real. After he was done pooing, he pulled me to the plastic bags area, pointed to the plastic bag, and after I took the plastic bag, he pulled me towards the staircase again, indicating he needs to go up to bathe. I was pretty impressed!

When Jaden threw the diaper into the dirty laundry pile, Mason will take the diaper and put it at the sampahbag side instead. 

Oh dear, I am starting to feel sleepy now and it is already coming to nearly 2am. Time to call it a night for me as I forsee a loooong day for me tomorrow. Actually it is always a looooooong day for me no matter what day, just because I am a mother. *wink*

Good night peeps!