Mason @ 7 weeks old

Mason turns 7 weeks old today. 

Last Monday, we took him to his paed to have his third shot of oral Vit-K shot. He was weighing in at 5.12kg and grew up to 60cm long. 

Mason has set a morning wake-up schedule for himself and that is waking up at 8am everyday. Its a good and a bad thing for me as Jaden's waking up schedule is also supposed to be at 8am to prepare for school. Unless Hubby wakes up the same time and help me entertain Mason, then I can quickly feed Jaden his breakfast and give him his bath before breastfeeding Mason a little and off, all three of us for school.

I am still trying to wake up earlier, at about 7am to feed Mason but it seems that when he is really sleepy, nothing I do can make him open up his cute little mouth for feed.

Sometimes the little baby will cry half way on the way to school and I can only feed him after I drop Jaden off at school. With my nursing poncho ever ready in my bag, I will be parking my car beside the school and feed Mason before driving home again. The beauty of breastfeeding -food is always ready for the baby in the right temperature, and also on the go.. the downside of it? Well, maybe sometimes you will be flashing people some unwanted sight or have all those pervs trying to see what you are doing. Its worse when you have a struggling baby who fights with the breast, not sure why they do that for but its rather silly when they want the breast yet they fight it.

Mason is quite a morning baby as he would flash me the biggest smile ever always in the morning and seems very much talkative at that hour. Its really cute to be engaged in a conversation with a baby but mind you, entertaining one can really drain your energy down to 0%. ;p

I have learnt to read some cues from Mason such as when he pulls away from the breast, despite suckling on and off. That would mean that he is already full and all he wants is to rest or wants to be carried upright.

I would still put Mason to nap on his tummy as it allows him to nap longer although these two three days, the magic seem to have worn off.

Just yesterday, he refused to sleep since 12pm and finally burst into a screaming crying frenzy for being too overly tired and finally konked out for nap from 6pm to 830pm.

Mason, is a bit more clingy compared to Jaden. He wants to be carried all the time, which Hubby said was all my fault for spoiling him.

I beg to differ as somehow I see babies and their growing years a little different. I want to be able to cherish all these baby moments and savor every second that I get to spend with them as they grow. 

I am trying my best to be more patient and learning how to talk in a nicer way to Jaden. I still fail from time to time at that because it angers me to see Jaden chin himself so hard when he gets frustrated. 

Other than that, Jaden has been such a gem in tolerating his baby brother's unreasonable cries. I am still not use to not attending to Jaden's need in an instant but these are what I have to learn as a mother of two. Must remind myself, I am no longer a mother of 1 but 2 and have to see to both their needs instead of just 1.

Mason can hold his head or rather, he wants to hold his own head up now. So I do tend to carry him upright or let him do more tummy time, whenever we can and he seems to be enjoying it too.

Our next paed appointment just to check up on Mason's growth and development would be in April, when he is 4 months going 5 months old. Wonder what surprises he has in store for us by then? Would he be able to roll over by then or sit when propped up? 

Life as it is

So, after a month of feeling overwhelmed by all things that took place, I have finally accepted that this is going to be part of my life, part of our life as a family.

Both Hubs and I are still learning how not to let Jaden feel left out or jealous whenever we pay attention to Mason. 

Though Jaden is a sweet brother, that we do not doubt, there are times he tends to be moody, and sad and seems to want us to hold him or look at him instead of his brother.

Truth be told, I am feeling very tired and I can fall asleep easily when the clock strikes 10pm. 

Its a challenge trying to get Jaden to school together with Mason, but making sure that their waking up and feeding hours do not clash, which means that I have to get up at least 2 hours earlier than my previous an hour early (before giving birth). 

Mason is starting to have cradle cap and it seems bad. Well, the rotten egg smell has not started yet so it has not reach a stage that we should worry about. Anyway, his paed appointment is next week so I can just ask the paed to take thorough look at Mason. I really wonder what is his weight now. He is heavier now, yet he is not michelin like other babies. I don't think my children will ever be michelin babies despite drinking a lot of milk.

My face is just looking very tired, dark eye circles have turned even darker, face skin feeling all dry and flaky, eyebrows not threaded.. it really makes me feel tired even just by looking at my own face. 

Then, there is the body that I am still feeling very much depressed about. Flab, stretch marks, linea nigra that doesnt seem to be fading away, thunder thighs, breasts that has been affected since the days of Jaden's breastfeeding moments and the lump removal... My whole appearance is in such a sad looking state that I feel like a 80 year old instead of the chirpy 30 year old I should be.

Other than feeling down about my body, I am stressed out over my decision on vaccinations. Since we are not vaccinating him, we are not bringing him out to the public areas just yet other than hospital doc appointments. So how do I know that if he is strong enough with the antibodies I am providing him through my breastmilk? I get so paranoid that I bathe Jaden the moment he comes from school.. 

Though Mason sleeps better, waking up almost every 3-4 hours during the night.. it is still tiring not to get a good night sleep in a stretch. These waking ups and going back to sleep can really make one feel even more tired.

So, this are all my ramblings of my life.. for now as it is.. but I am sure it will turn for the better as Mason grows up and the routine and stuff are all program into my body clock. I just need to adapt to it.. as fast as I can.. 

My very first ...

double C bag in the house!

*girly squeals* 

My very first double C brand bag .. other than the LVs that I still love. Would love to be able to have that Lumineuse PM in Monogram Empreinte but this double C bag is around the same price so, well, might as well get my hands on the double C that I have been always eyeing and Luminere Empriente can wait for that one sweet day again.

Right now, I am being a very very happy girl with ma bling and double C GST. 

Mason @ 33 days

Mason's milestones

• Sleeps much longer on tummy time. (taught by my urut lady)
• He also sleeps longer on his side, but will somehow turned himself to sleep back on his back. 
• Sleeps for about 3-4 hours at night, sometimes if he falls asleep while on feed, then maybe 2 hours but this time, allowing mummy more sleep than kor kor did when kor kor was at the same age. 
• Doing a few tummy time exercises after we discovered he likes to push his neck up when we are holding him in upright position.
• Burps really loud.
• Can finally turn his head from left to right to left when sleeping on tummy on his own.
• Sometimes fake cry to see if anybody will pick him up, but can go to instant loud speaker mode too if ignored. 
• Started co-sleeping with me in the next room after grandparents left back for Penang. (Initially, both mother and son has been sleeping out in the living room, mom camping on the sofa while baby in his bassinet)
• Been quite an easy baby so far when it comes to eat and sleep.
• Somehow, more attached to me and wanting me more compared to others.
• Broke into a smile at me twice on Tuesday, Jan 7th in the morning when I greeted him good morning when he woke up.
• Starting to coo back (not all the time for now though) and sometimes smiling back when you talk to him. 
• Loves to look around when he is wide awake, and be carried (that is my fault for spoiling him, according to Hubby)
• He has a love and hate relationship with his bathtime. 
• Gave me swooshing flying poop twice already and peed on me two three times too.
• Poop is still yellow gold with cottage cheese like look. 
• Sometimes ter-fart out with poop too. 
• Had a bad case of baby milia the week to full moon. but with the help of Lucas Papaw ointiment, it is reducing slowly now.
• Learning together with mummy to babywear with Manduca. (Mummy is being a noob as usual!)
• Hair is still the same, though the back is starting to drop bit by bit and signs of cradle cap starting.

Back to School

Year 2014 has officially begun and its back to school week for Jaden this week.

His school started back on the 8th January, a day or two after the neurotyplcal children goes to school, and get back being used to their environment.

Once you have become a kindy-going parent, you would know how stressful it can be on the first two days of school, where the children will cry for their parents or not wanting to go back to school after a long month of holiday.

Anyway, Jaden was fine back being at school, although he forgot how it can be such a ruckus during music class with the playgroup children, hence a bit of meltdown in there.

Other than that, I think he is pretty happy to be back in school, which means playground time and I feel its good as he gets the sun and sweats it out. It was quite a sad sight to see him get stuck with me at home after my dad left back to Alor Setar for work and there was no one to take him for a drive or a run in the mall, or playground, swimming time. Hubs did occasionally bring him down the apartment for playground time but that also depended on the weather as last month, it kept raining when its about 3pm onwards till evening when it is the mosquitoes' turn to come out and play.

This week had also been a test to me to see how I can cope with being with both my boys, seeing to each of their needs and how I manage my time.

Its been crazy, that I must admit. Trying to make sure Mason feeds at about 630am or 645am, and praying he goes back into deep sleep while creeping out of the room, and preparing Jaden's snack box, water, double checking his bag for an extra set of clothes, then quickly popping myself for a bath, put breakfast on the table, and waking Jaden up.

Then, I pray even harder that Jaden will not cry out loud and waking his Mason up, who is sleeping in the next room, making sure Jaden finishes his breakfast, then its bathtime for him. 

After getting Jaden dressed, put on shoes and have his school bag on his back, house and car keys in hand/bag, doors unlocked but not opened, then I quickly go and scoop Mason up and out we go from the house.

Usually, if Mason is still asleep when I scoop him up, he will continue sleeping all the way to and from school. 

First day had been smooth, second day, we had speech therapy in the afternoon, where Mason decided he did not really want to stay in the car seat anymore but I let him cry it out while I continue driving. After a while, he stopped and looked at me and fell asleep. *phew* 

Third day, Mason was wide awake when we were about to leave for school, so it was quite a new experience to see how it goes. Well, of course, Mason cried as the car stops.. Guess the humming of a moving car soothes him and lulls him to sleep but morning jam is really something I cannot stop from happening. So again, he cried, then stop and cried.. *sigh* In the end, I think he gave up on crying and fell asleep again.. 

Jaden had been a great sport. Last time, when a child cries in the very same space that Jaden is in, he would get really frustrated and cry out loud together with the child but I guess, a month spent together with his brother in the house, crying on and off has made him grow accustomed to it, while we do explained to Jaden why the brother cries. Jaden only acts up if he is feeling tired or cranky or about to fall asleep and his brother wakes him up with the cries.

So, that pretty sum up my week of being a mother who is trying to cope with both her son's routine and hoping that all three of them will get the hang of it and cooperate to make the mother's life a bit easier. Less crying, more compliance = happy mother. I am really dreaming, no?

Next week, its three days of school while two days are off due to public holiday. Oh boy, start, stop, start.. how lah to warm up my engine? but its good too, which means I get to sleep in a little later.. =)

Full Moon

We held Mason's full moon dinner on Jan 5th, 3 days ahead before his supposedly official one month age.

This time, we had it done at the restaurant that was 2 minutes drive away from home. Yeap, just down the slope and up the ramp, and there it is, the restaurant!

Dinner was held at The Club @ Extra Super Tanker restaurant, and being Chinese, this dinner was as Chinese as it can be. 

We made reservations for three tables only.

One table for family members, one table for Hubby's friends and the next for my friends.

There was one girlfriend, who made it to the dinner with her husband and two daughters, all the way from Kluang, especially just to celebrate this special day with me for Mason. Seriously, friends like her are realllllly hard to find these days. She was one of the many girlfriends, who turned up for Jaden's full moon too so I guess its more to us keeping up to traditions. I was really touched by her gestures.

Then of course, the other girlfriends I made along the way, bonded with them over last year. 

Angeline, Jaden's classmate's mother, who hails from Penang too and in fact, its such a small world that we used to go to the same school and ballet school too. So its kinda like we knew of each other since school days.

Then, there is Winnie, whom I clicked really well with in regards to our son's special needs situation and we have been Sunday buddies till I got pregnant and mostly stayed home during Sundays then.. but we still have our breakfast and dinner dates from time to time with another two mothers.

Racheal, whom I got first know during our Poppy days, then turns out that we are both working in the Public Relations/Advertising industry and met again during The Edge congratulatory party, and then facebook got us closer and sort of clicked after we found out we were both expecting about the same time. 

Then, there is Gyn and PeiSan, Iz and Grace + Haidn whom have always make sure to be present to celebrate our pride and joy. First its all about Jaden, and now for Mason too. 

Of course, then there is the usual gang from Hubby.. :) good friends too at that who has also started making appearances since Jaden turned 2..

Mason was so excited that night, he hardly slept off. He was just busy looking around, people ooh and aah-ings over him. He only fell asleep when the dessert was served.. and lets just say, he was pretty tired out after that and had to recuperate from the party for at least two days before he charged up again being one feisty boy too.

Jaden, thankfully for his grandfather who helped looked after him while we tended to the guests and Mason, was being cheeky that night. He bullied his way through and before the dinner could end, he threw a tantrum and we had to bring him to the car to calm him down, let him watch his DVD in the car while the grandfather kept him company.

That was our cue to end the dinner fast, and Hubby quickly packed the gifts and stroller into the car and off we went home after that. 

So that was the end of the dinner, determined by Mason's big brother. :)

Baby Mason @ 24 Days old

In a blink of an eye, Mason is already 24 days old.

Each passing day has been great, watching him grow and me, learning to read his cues and bonding with him over each breastfeeding session.

Right now, he prefers me over Hubs and everytime he melts my heart with the adoring look he gives only to me.

In a way, his feeding and sleeping is different from Jaden but both Hubs and I think this is also quite a feisty child, as he can be really really demanding too. 

As for me, I seemed to be much more zen this time round with my second son compared to when I was caring for Jaden the very first time.

Post natal depression has stayed far from me this time round as I did not cry without a reason or have negative thoughts such as being a failure as a mother. I know I felt that when I did not know how to read Jaden's cries when we first brought him home. Hubs said this is called experience. Maybe he is right.

Jaden has started to approach Mason on his own, kissing him on the head or wanting to pat Mason without prompt, which I find it really sweet yet we have to watch Jaden carefully as he has yet to learn how to control his strength despite all the good intentions he has towards his brother.

I haven't got to pump breastmilk out for storage like other mothers. So far, there is only 3 bottles of 60-80ml of milk in my freezer as Mason prefers to direct latch and that I have the fear in me that if I pump out and Mason wants to latch on, I wouldn't have enough to supply to his demand that very moment and it will be a very frustrating situation for the both of us. I really need to work more on the lazt breast if I want to have an equal size to both sides though I doubt it will ever get back to that state. 

Mason has got a bout of baby milia now, and is growing more and more each day.. *sigh* such a heartache to see.. and I am really hoping its milia and not food allergy from my breastmilk towards what I eat. 

Mason slept almost through some nights or at least 4-5 hours without waking up which is good but when he is awake, its hard to leave him alone in his crib or rocker as he wants to be carried and attended to most of the time. I am seriously considering babywearing him. Hmm.. 

We will be having a full moon dinner to celebrate the joyous occasion of him becoming one month old real soon with our family and close friends. 

Time really passes by quickly eh? 

Happy New Year

Happy New Year everyone!

Looking back at my 2013 and it has been nothing short of everything awesome that has taken place. 

Jan

Finally found a kindergarten that accepted Jaden, and best of all, for academic wise, children like him have a classroom of their own, and when it comes to social skills development, they get to join the neurotypical children who, too accepts them for who they are. 

Hubby bought a car for me as my 2012 birthday present, actually I see it more as a car for the whole family to travel in comfort, especially for long distance drive such as driving back to our respective hometown.

March

Met up with WW and her son, whom I have never met before. Hung out with them and meeting up with Evon too.

In fact, we met up both times, in Penang and in KL when WW took her family down here for a trip and we had some awesome seafood, bonding time too.

My HunYee bunny gave me an awesome gift too.

She had arranged for me to watch LeeHom quite up close. I couldn't have asked for a better seat in the house and to be able to snap much more awesome photos of LeeHom and hearing him sing live again, even though I just saw him perform the same concert in Sg August in 2012.

My boys and I got to spend a night in Genting and letting Jaden enjoy the cool breeze.

April

Found out I was pregnant. Whoopie!

June

We went for a family holiday to Phuket and Jaden enjoyed himself max! The sun, sea, swimming pool, jacuzzi and night walk along Patong was really good for all of us!

August

Started a business together with my friend, investment courtesy of Hubby and it sure is a push for me to do something meaningful with my life other than just being a mother and housewife.

September

Organized Jaden's 6th Birthday party and felt proud of who and what and how far he has come since we found out about his diagnosis and immediatly work on early intervention for him.

October

WW and SC came over to KL and both of them stayed over at my place and I got to hang out again with them, finally got to go to Marini's 57 and see what the hoo haa is all about. 

Arranged a surprise for WW's birthday dinner and being just happy seeing my friend smiling the whole night through.

Hubs actually made arrangement with his friend and had her bring me in as her +1 to go see LeeHom live again, this time even nearer than ever for the opening of Coach @ The Gardens. *inner girly fan's heart satisfied!*

November

Nesting mode has begun yet pregnancy had been really awesome for me. Though I may complain here and there about my sinus, leg cramps and nausea from time to time but my journey as a pregnant woman had been an awesome one so far with a very supportive husband and a sweet son.

December

Baby listened to me and came out after Dec 6th. Told him that weekend would be best and he chose a Saturday/Sunday morning to come out. :)

I actually got to experience the beauty ('horror') of natural birth delivery.. contractions and all until I could not take it anymore the last minute and opt for epidural but I guessed I might have asked for it a little too late as the drug actually just kicked in for me after I pushed baby out of me and my gynae sewing up my tear. 

I am thankful that Hubs stood by me all the while in the labour room, letting me twist, turn and squeeze his fingers and that no apparatus were needed to aid Mason coming out of me. 

I also turn 30 this month, and Hubs actually surprised me for real this time with something unexpected. Made me tear each time I think about it.. and once I am out of this confinement and is able to travel conveniently with Mason, I will be heading to the shop to make a change to the size of the 'present' Hubs gave to me so I can wear it proudly.

Other than that present, I also got to buy my long awaited bag from Paris, thanks to Hubs for the money and also thanks to my friend Matt, the shopper whom I trust a lot when it comes to getting such goods. 

So overall, I am thankful for what had happened in 2013 and may 2014 be even an awesome one with our latest family member that I am sure, will add much more joy and happiness and make our clan complete! 

xoxo 

Em