Possibility maybe ... or not

I was scared. I was happy. I was disappointed. I was excited. Yea, there were lots of mixed emotions when I read it the very first time on one of my friend's facebook timeline and there I went mad in googling and while at that, the mixed emotions too over.

Why is it that I always tend to learn about it last minute and have a feeling that I might be disappointed so I don't want to look forward to it just yet until when I sense the right timing.

No idea what I am talking about?

Nothing important actually. Its not #firstworldissue either. Nothing to do with Jaden, ok, maybe a little connected, just a tiny bit connected but its more to me and the girly self in me.

Remember how I went gaga over SuperJunior coming to town for their very first concert in Malaysia for SuperShow II Asia Tour?

and then how I went all the way to Singapore for their SuperShow III Asia Tour just because the day I am supposed to be there, they are performing in Singapore as well and I might as well just go for the SG concert instead of waiting to buy tickets to go for Malaysia's concert. Well.. turns out to be a little disappointing for my second concert experience with SuperJunior, just because, maybe I did not have a friend to share that excitement with or its the crowd that was so different from Malaysia's. I have to say if compared to SuShow II (Msia) & SuShow III (Sg), Malaysia's crowd was much more mindful that everyone there is much more disciplined and considerate of other people and RELA does a good job in handling the situation.

Then this year, I thought, its ok, maybe I shall wait for SuShow World Tour to come to Malaysia and attend it together with Malaysian crowd instead but oh no, they overlooked Malaysia and just went to the neighbouring country. That was really disappointing and it made me lose my interest in them, just because I don't really like artistes overlooking Malaysia, unless some NGOs make unreasonable banning requests.

Anyway, their songs sound the same after a while and that their latest songs.. it suck. Seriously, it sucks. Its not even catchy to me anymore until I discovered another boyband to my liking.

Their songs were good, and well.. creative in fashion sense and all that.

I learnt that they will be heading to Singapore as part of their world concert and well, it was ok to me, I wasn't ready to fork out that 2.53exchange rate for a ticket to watch them live. I am not that strong of a fan compared to being LeeHom's fan. Yes, I forked out SGD to go watch LeeHom's MusicMan II in Singapore just because I did not get to attend Malaysia's concert.

THEN THEN THEN, this boyband had to send out word that they are coming to Malaysia to perform in October!! OCTOBER !!!!! How can I resist such a strong temptation of not going when they are actually going to be in KL ??? Its like once a lifetime chance of seeing them perform live in Malaysia, just like how pleased I was with myself to be able to catch Backstreet Boys and 911 performed in Penang back during their debut days because that was their only one time they were in Malaysia.

So here I am sitting in a dilemma.. should I voice out to Hubby and tell him about my desire to go or just wait it out and wait till about end of September before I say it? While doing that, put the concert ticket money aside so when he says yes, I can just spring up and try my luck buying tickets off others as well, like I mentioned earlier... I learnt about the concert too late and tickets were sold out in less than 3hours.

Which boyband am I talking about? Well.. I am K-pop boyband crazy so it can only be another Korean group of artistes...

So here goes.. the ones that I decided to shift my fan service to...

Just because

i can ... <3

em @28yrs 7mths

July ramblings

So, it seemed that Hubby got news that MIL is back in ICU again after getting out of there, they found blood thickening. She was not cooperative either in having the tubes in her, which I can relate to it being uncomfortable and may be a little painful but well, there must be a reason why the doctor have the tube there in the first place.

Anyway... Hubby will be heading back to Malacca soon to visit his mother while both Jaden and I will be home this time. Its a bit too tiring for me to drive up and down the North-South highway, although I do love love driving. I told Hubby that my best record so far driving to Malacca in my little monster takes about 1hr45minutes. That, too, because I stopped for a toiletbreak. Now, if we were to have a bigger car, I bet my ass I would be in Malacca in 1hr15min at least or well, to be safe.. 1hr30mins.

I have always enjoyed being on the most left lane. Best record so far driving from Ipoh to KL took me an hour and a few minutes, in Gwen's ex's car. Yea, I bet he regretted letting me take over the wheels while he tried to get some sleep. Lets just say he did not end up sleeping afterall. The adrenaline rush.. whooo.. but then again, that was back in college days so well.. now that I am a mother, I have more responsibilities to drive safe.

120/140km/hr is still acceptably decent though, in my opinion, on a highway. *gRin*

Living almost a week out of a suitcase is no fun, well, not when you have a little one tagging along with a lot of food sensitivities, and I must choose the best, least allergen free food for Jaden and pumping him with lots of digestive enzymes to make sure that the nonsense will not make an appearance.

Somehow, its a little stressful too, to be in Malacca for me. Yea, compared to being in Penang.. I find myself being in Malacca rather stressful. There is just too much complaints and accusations and stuff going on that it is not healthy to be there, for me personally. Don't get me wrong.. I like Malacca, just that there is too much tension going on at that place for me every single time I am there. Yes, every single time.

Its time for me to bring Jaden for another round of blood test and I have chosen tomorrow to be the day. Give and take one week half, test results comes back to us and then, its time for his DAN's consultation. Just nicely timed.

I am not looking forward to tomorrow's blood draw. Its always scary and heartbreaking and then, it becomes stressful again for me if the results are not desirable.

Yes, I am so grateful I have Adrenergize with me to keep my stress level at bay.. magic pills I call them. :)

Its been almost 20 days since Cheeko left us and I still feel the emptiness inside and turn my head towards the place I buried him. Cheekie gets fed and pampered more now that Cheeko has gone. I wonder if she remembers him and grieved his death. :( I hope not though so that she can be a happy bunny as long as she lives.

I am still sad over Jaden's schooling issues but I guess, in times like this, I must tackle a problem one at a time. Speech? Academics? Motor skills? Cognitive? Vision? Health? Diet? So many things to consider.. so little time to treat everything. Hes turning 5 soon and that explains me being in such a panic. Everybody is so judgemental over special needs kids. Most of them, being not understanding at all and that really pisses me off.

Its already mid July, which means time to plan for Jaden's birthday again.. cakes, venue, guests and where to bring him for his birthday.. birthday present for my little prince. So if you see me being frazzled, looking like some long lost cousin of the wild, just walk by me ok. I totally understand. LOL

Down in Melaka

We received news on Monday night that my MIL was admitted into hospital, so we made our way down the very next day at about 12pm.

Packed for a 2days 1 night trip, booked a last minute hotel room and we were on our way in the faithful little monster ... reached about 2hrs later.

Dropped Hubby off at the hospital while Jaden and I went ahead and checked into the hotel first, with me trying to find some 'allowed-edible' lunch for Jaden.

Little monster's blow motor decided to blow on us, and that ripped me RM100 getting a new one fixed. Well, all in the name of comfort.

One night turned into two nights unexpectedly as MIL's condition was worse than reported and of course, its only right that Hubby stays by his mother's side until at least she is discharged and he finds somebody that he could trust to take care of MIL as she refuses to come down to KL with us.

The whole of SimonYap clan ran out of clean clothes and even Jaden's supplements by the third day and since the hotel rooms were already fully-booked which means we had to check out even if we wanted to stay on another day, we were left with no choice.

So I drove back with Jaden on Thursday after lunch, reached KL and quickly went online to search for available hotel rooms for Hubby that night until Sunday at least.

We repacked, restocked and drove down again to Melaka the next day and here we are, nicely placed in a budget hotel which is quite ok in terms of cleanliness and comfort.

MIL had been in ICU for the past two days and today afternoon, she was wheeled in for her surgery.. Just got news that she has seen got out from OT and is half awake, half sedated.

Popped over to the hospital while Jaden was taken care by his trusty ABA therapist for about 2 hours, who happened to be back in Melaka for the weekend. He sure had fun with her, more fun with her than with his own mother.. and he even got to score a shirt from the therapist's mother. How sweet right?

So here we are, confined to the hotel room as its jam everywhere during weekends, packed with tourists and cars from all over and eateries looked as if they are giving out free food, with that long beeline that all these people make.

Am not so sure when Jaden and I will be coming down to Melaka again but this time, we will just let Hubby do the care-taking job as Jaden has lots of his therapies to do and is not advisable to miss them that frequent. He already had his one week break the whole of this week... and the coming blood test I need to get it done again on him.

Just praying hard that MIL will have a fast smooth recovery and get discharged from the hospital. If only she will agree to come and stay with us, then Hubby will have a peaceful doing his work knowing that his mother is well taken care of in terms of food and health and safety.. alas, the old woman prefers Melaka to KL.

Dedicated to my big big nose

Just as usual, whenever I pass by their area, I would call out to Cheeko and say hi.

Yesterday, was no different, only that he did not look at me back in the eye nor raise his ears to acknowledge my presence. He was just lying down there, as still as can be.

I took a closer look and shouted out to Hubby that I think Cheeko has passed away. True enough, the little fella of mine had moved on to a better place -rabbit heaven.

He was so busy eating his long beans, as happy as can be ... and was waiting for me as usual for his carrots. He always looked at me in the eye, with his head cocked slightly. He is always that cute, despite his age.

Death. Family pet. His birthday is just around the corner, an August 2006 rabbit. One month to being 6 years old.. he left behind us and his beloved Cheekie.

It is already hard on us to accept his death and having to let go of him, it must have been harder on Cheekie who was his room-mate since they were in the petshop.

Cheeko, was the smaller, younger one compared to Cheekie. It was because of Cheekie, who stayed beside him while we have already made our choice to only get one, we just had to get that little fella that Cheekie so dearly loved.

He, would hop on to the dustpan while we were trying to sweep up his little shit when he was just about a month half old. He would squeeze on top of Cheekie behind the door to hide, and play scoot with cloths that are lying on the floor. He even know how to play with ball, well, trying to hump a rolling ball isn't exactly a bright idea but that is Cheeko. He is like the family clown, that brings laughter to the family.

He, who would run after our feet, or circling our feet when he was younger, trailing after us.. the fat one left behind when Cheekie jumped out of the enclosed area to nose around the new place. He, who would jump into the food bowl if he could and quite a good mini 'lion dancer'.

He was also the 'guard dog' that guards the house from those irritating cats. He would thump his legs so loud, I could hear him from the next room.

Don't remember Cheeko? You can read back here to refresh your memory.

As I cried, Hubby stayed tough and quickly prepared everything for Cheeko's burial. We wrapped him in two clean white cloth, put his water and food bowl in as well, a note to him and his carrots and pellets.

We let Cheekie say good bye to him while we put him into the box. We drove around our housing area and came to a green field where it shows no signs of inhabitants and dug a hole deep enough to bury Cheeko and his belongings in.

I said the last goodbye to him. Its hard. It is still hard today. I have to come home and clean up his cage, scrub it clean while Cheekie looked on. She had this look on her face as if she was asking, "Where is Cheeko? Why is he not back in his cage? What are you doing to his cage? Why are you taking it out from the house? Is he not coming back?"

Maybe I think a little too much but I believe that animals do grieve but I hope it wont be too hard on Cheekie as she is also an old girl by now.

I put his cage outside the house, and while I was doing that, is that all to it? Is that all to Cheeko's life on earth? So what happens now? Moving on as if I was just cleaning up after a dead fish. Is that it, death? People clean up after you, bury you and then move on so they won't think and dwell on you anymore?

Its scary but I hope that Cheeko knows that we all love him very very much and that he will always live in our hearts.

I miss him so so much.

Rest In Peace, Cheeko

Today, July 1, a very dear family pet has left us.

May you rest in peace Cheeko.