Rampage ramblings

There are many types of people in this world.

Some are just plain nice, some are just neutral, some are just oblivious to what is going on, some are just too happy-go-lucky-without-a-worry-in-the-world, some are just grumpy with ten lemons stuffing up their nose everyday and some are just plain assholes. Insensitive assholes.

Assholes like these are the one that makes me go on a rampage. In fact, I bet any assholes would just make anyone go on a rampage.

I think its just my imbalance hormones that is making me type all these out but still.. I really need to get it out of my system.

So to those that 'I hate children' people, well, I feel sorry for you the way you might have felt sorry for us but children are actually lovely and they can brighten up your day with just their innocent smile. I feel sorry for your mother who must have wanted you badly, to get pregnant and give birth to you because if she had felt the same way you do, then I would not be here bitching about you, would I? You might have the loveliest man with you by your side, you might have the top paying job that you have always wanted, climbing up that corporate ladder as you go but bear in mind, when you do grow old and frail, and have to retire from all that, you will be all alone.. pets? well, there is only so much a pet can do for you.. of course, there will be a debate about how infilial most of these children can be, but if you do bring them up the right and healthy way, I am sure there won't be a single worry about them dumping you in an old folk's home. Oh wait, your staying abroad might be so westernized that children ought to be kicked out of the house by 18, then that is your fault. As for me, being as Asian as I am, I would want my children to grow up and old with me in the family house, making every festive season a happy one with a large growing family that loves one another. Sons, bringing their wives home and grandchildren running happily around. So yes, I feel really sorry for you children haters out there. You were once a child too, remember that.

Then, there is another group of assholes that speaks through their ass as they have no brains.

No experience, trying their very best to be funny, yet it is wrong in all aspects. Thinking that they are so smart with their sarcasm, *sigh* it only shows us their sorry sight. You might be leading a high life.. oh wait, you are yet you are complaining every single second of your life. You are whining about how miserable you are right now. How others don't understand you. Don't worry.. I don't understand you either. If I were you, I would have been really grateful for what comes and what is being prepared for me. Anyway, I am grateful the way my life turns out to be too.. although I may make some senseless remarks or status updates but at the end of the day, I live with the fact, accepting them as they are. Grow up! That is what I want to say to your face. Grow up, please grow up! 

So how do I handle these people in my life? Easy.. I avoid them.. I try not to have anything to do with them anymore and yes, with these type of people category, I distant myself from them. They are nothing but hazard to my life. They can feel miserable all they want, because that is what they want to do but to suck me together into their miserable life, please.. that is the last thing I need.

I have a beautiful growing up boy, albeit special needs but he is my joy, my everything. In fact, I am not even feeling sorry for him, nor would I want him or others to feel sorry for him. He is learning how to cope with life on his own, with our guidance. Its not as if he is really unable to.. it just takes a little longer than his peers. If he is not giving up on himself, why should I? 

and, I also have another child on the way.. whom I believe will be a really great addition to the clan. Maybe a few hiccups here and there with children tantrum, fighting but that is all part and parcel of being in a family. For sure, I am going to make it damn clear to my children that they need to grow up and be good people, not selfish miserable ones.

Scatterbrain

I used to think it was just one of the exclusive excuses, us women, could use to escape from blame.

Now, I think its real! As real as it can get.

I was already quite a scatterbrain before pregnancy, but when it comes to anniversaries, birthdays.. I am pretty sure I have this thing in me that is programmed in me to remember yet, with this second pregnancy around. I totally lost that talent in me, if u can actually call that a talent. :p

Friends that are really dear to heart, which I never fail to convey my birthday wishes across... I came to forget about them until I see their status on facebook where others are wishing them and I am already few days late at that. 

A series of dramas that I have been chasing so intently, once the series comes to an end, one week later, I can't recall the title of the drama that I have chased with such fiery interest. *sigh*

Things I am supposed to say or thought of wanting to say.. and if I don't say it out the instant I thought of it.. it is officially lost, gone from memory.

I pray that my friends don't think that I have changed to someone that is trying to grow a distance. Its just that my poor fat brain has other things to think about or mostly empty at that right now. 

So, here I am, officially announcing that if I do ever forget something important between us, please forgive me. :)

p/s: come to think of it, I almost forgot what week of pregnancy I was in, and needed to count back from the week I had my detailed scan ... *sigh* and nearly nearly forgot my next appointment date if I had not chanced upon my appointment card, which I forgot where I put them. *shakes head*

Forgo-ing appearances

I remembered when i was first pregnant with Jaden, I had an issue with dandruff. 

Seems like that was the downside of my pregnancy with Jaden. 

I just seem to have this flakes, that I could scratch off my scalp, that results in pieces and often, they bleed after that or make me just want to pull it off until I needed to tug that few pieces of hair off and that resulted me til this day, a bald patch that never grew hair back in its place. :(

Since my hair was long back then, and I really could not bear to part with those locks, I asked around and proceeded in getting my hair straightened for easy maintenance.

Those who knows me, would know how wild, thick and frizzy my hair could be, resulting me in looking very unkempt and crazy-like.

The dandruff problem did somehow went away on its own after I had my hair done, back at my hometown at that time.. and I was very happy with the results. 

I was 23 going 24 then. I knew about nothing, I knew nothing about what not to really do during pregnancy and what I should be really avoiding when pregnant or after giving birth. I just went with the flow, listening to what modern doctors allow you to do and what the elders said you can or can't do.

Fastforward to today, I see quite a lot of young first time mummies, just like me having their hair dyed, hair treated. I am sure they, too had asked their doctor's permission for the go ahead just like me and was given the green light.

Hey, if I hadn't had Jaden in his situation right now, I would have most probably go do the same thing again because the last thing you want to be critisized about is how aunty your looks has become with pregnancy and motherhood.

What the heck? I am only going 30 and no way, I want to be associated with the women who let themselves go once they get married and become housewives that dressed down in just house clothes. 

BUT

BUT

given the situation and lesson learnt from whatever my husband and I had to go through with Jaden, I no longer give two hoots to people that are talking behind my back, or even at me for how I am letting myself go a bit for this pregnancy.

How I went and have my hair cut short, forgoing my hair treatment and letting my manes be wild for these coming months, maybe until I stop breastfeeding.. stop wearing heels and tube tops because its just not advisable when you have a six year old to chase after and you don't want to embarass yourself in public with the top pulled down if the six year old happen to throw a tantrum... Its only logical to wear flats from the day you are pregnant and when you are out with child/children.

So to those that are saying how much aunty I have become, or have let myself go.. well, I will be more happy to show you my middle finger and I could not care less about your comments. You can go take care of your own look for all I care. All that self-pampering, I will have that time soon, after my baby stops breastfeeding.. and at that time, I shall be in my best primetime thirties with no regrets because for me, my babies come first before me. For their health, I can forgo my looks for them.  

Little submarines ...

If you are eating or drinking right now, just stop reading this post for a while until you do not intend to eat anything for a few hours..

Ok.. ready?

So.. as I whipped out my iced chocolate drink from the fridge, ready to drink... and that was just after seeing to Jaden peed and wore his pants back.. from the corner of my eyes, I saw a boy going into crouching pushing manner. Then came a moan that indicated he needed to push something out badly..

Quickly, i fumbled for his bath towel, and have him take off his pants and undies in lightnight speed, whipped out the kiddy toilet seat and put it on top of the toilet bowl and parked him butt on it, i gave him words of encouragement as I helped him make pushing noises and held him down, just in case he decides to run off with 'things' coming out after him..

Mind you, the toilet door was closed so he don't stink up the whole room.. luckily there were still two widely opened bathroom windows, just not wide enough for me.. and then, he made that 'pushing' sound even more stronger and 'plonk, plonk, plonk' it went.

oh dear.. even now, as I try to blog this out, its making me wanna puke. *sigh*

Anyway, i try to flush whenever i can to avoid the smell from building up. Well, from experience, I can tell you that won't work.. shit smells! Final.. no flushing will hide the smell until it fades into the air and out the window goes the stench with time. 

So, the boy actually did his business there, and this is the second successful time without him being scared of the toiletbowl nor trying to keep it back in until he has his diapers on for pooing. 

Right after he was done, I washed him up nicely. Clean and fresh...

*sigh* Can you imagine the scenario if I haven't caught him in time and was enjoying my drink back then? I would have puked even worse.. thinking of the what ifs and what sticky, smelly, dirty situation it could have been instead...

So there, not that I wanted to disgust you, the one reading this post right now, but its just something for me to remember by, my boys milestone in potty training for his number 2 since we are quite on it for number 1 already. 

Jaden is mostly off diapers during the day now unless I really really have no time to pay attention to him or have to go out running errands with him for half a day. He, too, like i mentioned in my previous post, seems to be wanting to be off diapers now. :)