Have you ever?

Have you ever feel that you might not be able to live till you see your grandchildren gets married?

Earlier this year on, I was talking to one bestfriend of mine, telling her how I think that I might not be able to live long. First and foremore, I don't know my medical history -tracing back to my family tree hence I am in the dark about my health. All I know is that I have had sinusitis since young and well, one thing leads to another.

As some might know from my facebook status, that I have been complaining that my sense of smell and taste has completely disappeared officially on 31st May 2011 after I fell sick on Monday, the day before and even when the flu had gone, there was the persistent sore throat that comes and go and well, guess now it ended up with me coughing really badly till my vocal cords are swollen.

I have officially lost my voice on Sunday itself. The coughing was so bad and it hurt that I had to make an emergency appointment with the ENT specialist at Damansara Jaya Specialist Centre yesterday afternoon. TMC's appointment was full till Friday and there was no way I could wait till Friday to find out what is wrong with me.
He gave me a thorough check on my nose and down my throat with the probing light stick, which he made me say EEEEEE and all that came out of my throat sounded like AAAAHHHHHH .. such big difference from EEEEEEE right?

I was sent home with a week of antibiotics, a med and an inhaler and we will see how it goes in a week's time which I have to return for further checkup. I sure hope we get to see an improvement though but somehow I highly doubt so for my smell and taste. Lets just hope my vocal cords will be ok by then. I am advised to rest my voice as much as possible so now, I am in my muted form.

Hubby says somehow he likes me muted. *sigh* Just that I can no longer order food and all that and I have to rely on Hubby to make all the orders. Hubby also commented that Jaden would be so happy to get a scolding break from me ... so its back to controlling my temper and closing one eye so I don't get angry and want to shout at Jaden.

and then, I got so emo today after I went online and check possible causes of my diagnosis and came out with a few that really gives me the chill. Worst case scenario might be due to tumor, either at the throat, nasal or brain.. made me cry thinking not because I am scared but because Jaden is still so young and what would these two boys be doing without me in the house...

*shite* I am tearing up again so I might as well leave the comp for a while and go do some other stuff to get my mind off these.

Just in case, if you are thinking of calling me to ask me how I am, don't bother. As for now, I only reply to sms and you know the reason why. =)