Its a beautiful night, and we are looking for something dumb to do ...

*song playing in the background -Bruno Mars Marry You*

This song is so cheerful, so carefree -it sure takes me back to the carefree days of when we were young and free.

Makes me want to get up and dance and forget the troubles of the day.

There are lots going through this puny mind of mine.

Just another process of growing up, a chapter I must have skipped while studying life lessons.

Its so hard not to think about it when there is nothing much you can do about it. It was over before it even began and the what ifs all sank in.

Why do humans like to ask questions that does not have definite questions?

What purpose do they serve?

I used to asked why? what went wrong and when? It hit me like a train coming at ya' full steam ahead.

I wonder if my young nieces and nephews ask the same questions like I do.

Looking at their pictures on FB puts a smile on my face, reminding me of my old self back in those days. So happily in love, yet there are complications which we think no one else would understand, especially our parents when we are feeling at our lowest but boy, they are wrong!

Now I truly believe that the elders know best because they would probably have been through what we are going through. Its only up to them if they choose to interfere, advise or just stand aside and watch how we steer through life on our own.

Do you remember your first crush? first love? your first kiss? your first time? your first argument? (i bet that is really hard to remember)

My memory is starting to fail me about my previous relationships. Maybe its because I do not want to remember them. Happy times, sad times -they are all in my past, a past that I want to bury.

I think the firsts time you share with your loved ones are usually the best memorable ones. They never fail to bring a smile to my face because then, it was truly the best moment without the battlescars of an argument, misunderstanding and many more unwarranted stuff.

Arguments can either kill or make the relationship stronger. Usually it kills. Once it starts, it keeps coming. It never ends and one day, both will feel so tired, they usually let go and drift apart, no? Apologies could help but to a certain extend if there are still no positive changes.

If I knew love was going to come at me no matter what age I am in, I would have waited for a little while longer when I was younger. Putting your career future in front of you is always more important than finding the other guy, because if you were meant to be matched up to the other person, it will come. Just a matter of time...

There is no room for me now, to look back at the past and ponder. There is only one way for me to look at and its the future. So, will I be able to make the right decisions and not regret like I do now, 10 years down the road? Should I fight for what I have always wanted to do and be a mother at the same time? I think I want to and I shall do it. I know I have to in order to feel at least a tiny sense of accomplishment in life of whatever thats left in me.

Wish me luck and when I do begin, you shall be the first to know. =)