Some people come into our lives
and leave footprints on our hearts
and we are never ever the same.
~by Flavia Weedn~
and leave footprints on our hearts
and we are never ever the same.
~by Flavia Weedn~
Our life revolves around other people. Like part of the poem above, its true, some people come into our lives and leave footprints, some are like those footprints in the sand, washed away quickly...
Just these few years, since I got married, my thoughts on love has changed. I have seen quite a few relationships that will either make you green in envy or down with sorrow.
What is marriage? Wikipedia said marriage is a social union or legal contract between individuals that creates kinship.
and then? what happens after marriage? Do these people go through honeymoon stages? or straight to parent status? or is it the same as before when they were still dating?
Shouldn't marriage bring the relationship to a whole new level where the love for each other should blossom into something more beautiful than before?
Some of my friends are getting married and I am so happy for them that they are willing to take their relationship a step up. Who wouldn't be happy for them unless you are the psycho ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend?
I have some other friends that don't think they are marriage material. They prefer to stay single (may not be available) but would like to avoid this signing of matrimony for as long as they could because it would also mean part of their freedom gone. Marriage is not only a two person thing. It includes in yours and his/her family members so I guess this is one of the main thing that my friends do take into consideration.
It is fun and lovely to marry into a family where everybody cares for each other. Its a different story when you have in-laws from hell or in-laws trying to ask you to give them grandchildren or better still, thinks that you are their child-stealer, sees you as a threat in this love-sharing relationship. *sigh*
I have one close friend who is seeking divorce and the funny thing is although divorce is never a good word to hear, but I am happy for her. At least she is now happy and free from all those stressful thoughts when she is with him. Although she might seem lost at times now that she is on her own but she sleeps better now, and knows that she don't have to wake up and feel angry all over again. Both these people are my friends and its quite awkward to see them split but if its happening for the best, why not? I have not heard from the man's side but I am sure it will soon pass on within our circle of friends.
Another one friend of mine split with the husband because he was caught cheating on her. The one bad thing, they both have a kid. So I guess in this type of situation, its always the kid that is the victim. Another reason to this is because I should think the man was not really ready to get married then, just because the girlfriend was pregnant and in our Chinese culture, getting married is the only respectable option out. If only they knew such culture will force couples such as my friend to split even after a while. I am not saying all will head their own way but most cases prove that it does.
One more divorce case that I know of was because both these couple argue and quarrel alot. They were such lovebirds when they were dating but after getting married, it all changed. They have a daughter together a year or two after the marriage but now, the mom got the child custody and took the child away from the father. Isn't it sad?
So that is why some of my single friends lost faith in the word marriage. Some would prefer just to be a live-in partner without all these complications. I like you, I stay. I don't like you, I go. That is why sometimes I think marriage can be quite a joke. Why get married today when you know you will be going to splitsville 2 years down the road?
On the other hand, marriage can be really beautiful. I have just came back from a wedding last year and will be attending two more this year and early next year.
Two of these couples have been dating quite long, the other just this year and they are going to take the plunge of long-term commitment together this Sept. I can't say that I am not happy for her but I really hope that when both these people decided to take this one step forward, they are willing to slough it out and make things work till their end-of-time.
So yea, I know this is quite an emo post but it has nothing to do with me. I swear. Its just that hearing about how a love so strong could just disappear like that one day can make one think a lot of things.
Just these few years, since I got married, my thoughts on love has changed. I have seen quite a few relationships that will either make you green in envy or down with sorrow.
What is marriage? Wikipedia said marriage is a social union or legal contract between individuals that creates kinship.
and then? what happens after marriage? Do these people go through honeymoon stages? or straight to parent status? or is it the same as before when they were still dating?
Shouldn't marriage bring the relationship to a whole new level where the love for each other should blossom into something more beautiful than before?
Some of my friends are getting married and I am so happy for them that they are willing to take their relationship a step up. Who wouldn't be happy for them unless you are the psycho ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend?
I have some other friends that don't think they are marriage material. They prefer to stay single (may not be available) but would like to avoid this signing of matrimony for as long as they could because it would also mean part of their freedom gone. Marriage is not only a two person thing. It includes in yours and his/her family members so I guess this is one of the main thing that my friends do take into consideration.
It is fun and lovely to marry into a family where everybody cares for each other. Its a different story when you have in-laws from hell or in-laws trying to ask you to give them grandchildren or better still, thinks that you are their child-stealer, sees you as a threat in this love-sharing relationship. *sigh*
I have one close friend who is seeking divorce and the funny thing is although divorce is never a good word to hear, but I am happy for her. At least she is now happy and free from all those stressful thoughts when she is with him. Although she might seem lost at times now that she is on her own but she sleeps better now, and knows that she don't have to wake up and feel angry all over again. Both these people are my friends and its quite awkward to see them split but if its happening for the best, why not? I have not heard from the man's side but I am sure it will soon pass on within our circle of friends.
Another one friend of mine split with the husband because he was caught cheating on her. The one bad thing, they both have a kid. So I guess in this type of situation, its always the kid that is the victim. Another reason to this is because I should think the man was not really ready to get married then, just because the girlfriend was pregnant and in our Chinese culture, getting married is the only respectable option out. If only they knew such culture will force couples such as my friend to split even after a while. I am not saying all will head their own way but most cases prove that it does.
One more divorce case that I know of was because both these couple argue and quarrel alot. They were such lovebirds when they were dating but after getting married, it all changed. They have a daughter together a year or two after the marriage but now, the mom got the child custody and took the child away from the father. Isn't it sad?
So that is why some of my single friends lost faith in the word marriage. Some would prefer just to be a live-in partner without all these complications. I like you, I stay. I don't like you, I go. That is why sometimes I think marriage can be quite a joke. Why get married today when you know you will be going to splitsville 2 years down the road?
On the other hand, marriage can be really beautiful. I have just came back from a wedding last year and will be attending two more this year and early next year.
Two of these couples have been dating quite long, the other just this year and they are going to take the plunge of long-term commitment together this Sept. I can't say that I am not happy for her but I really hope that when both these people decided to take this one step forward, they are willing to slough it out and make things work till their end-of-time.
So yea, I know this is quite an emo post but it has nothing to do with me. I swear. Its just that hearing about how a love so strong could just disappear like that one day can make one think a lot of things.
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