The reason why

There is a reason why you are not allowed to go out on your own.
There is a reason why you need supervision and company.
There is a reason why you need to be taking daily medics.
There is a reason why you should be housed at one of those temporarily.

There is a reason for everything that we plan for you BUT you are stubborn. You are determined that we are in the wrong and you are in the right. I cannot really blame the word stubborn in you because your mind is just not in the right state to even think anything rationally. Its already headwired and beyond help. Your attitude is changing bad to worse each passing day. It already scared others away. You have only he and I by your side, who aches so bad inside to see you deteriorate away like this.

Everything that I have thought would have happened did and there is nothing much I can do. All I can do now is worry myself sick to the max, yes in the process of affecting my baby unintentionally. You care only for your pleasure. You have no consideration towards my pregnancy even if you said you did simply just because you CANNOT THINK RATIONALLY anymore.

You refused to take in pills. You refused to have the doc check you up. You refused to get well. You are always in denial.

It is never embarassing to go out with you. NO! It only hurts and hurts and hurts! If only you knew...

For those that contributed to who and how you act today, I detest them even more. I believe in karma.

I hate myself for not being capable of making you better.





Whatever joy I had is now drowned with worries, stress and self-hatred. Whatever happiness I have to want to share with others is gone with just one missed call from you at 6 in the morning.

Why can't you behave? Why can't you?

Where can I seek help for you? How am I able to help you? What is it that you require in order to accept your situation and accept help from others?