Emotional Rollercoaster

My tears welled up when I went into the bathroom in the morning... Why you ask...

I just sent my mom on a bus back to Penang... She needs to go home to check on things...

I do not know why my tears are streaming down non stop. I do not know why I am bawling like a baby.. what happened is just that my mom went back to Penang. Thats all.. its not as if she is not coming back but a sudden burst of emptiness took over me, crumbling me down as I turn my key and stepped right back home.

Hubby is sleeping and I do not think it is necessary to let him know how I feel at the moment. He might think me mad... but I guess the mother-daughter bond is too strong to be felt by others. Only the parent and child shares the same thoughts and emotions. Not to say my husband is not understanding but this is one thing that can never be taken away from my mother, my father or me.

My mother has come a long way, bringing me up, showering me with all the dedicated love that is left of her and caring for me like there is no tomorrow.

I so want to tell her that I love her really really a lot. My love for her know no boundaries and I would do anything to make her happy. It is time for me to show my duty as a daughter.. 23 years is enough for her to slough it out for me.. it is my turn now... *sigh*

Mama.. I am already missing you so bad..

Tell me, am I crazy to feel this way? Or is it normal? I know my mother would not want to see me in this state. Till the moment before the bus leaves, all she asked of me is to stay happy and healthy, to take care of my ownself.. not to worry about her.. She is just a call away and she will be back if I ask her to.. She just needs to go home to Penang to check on things..

**shit** Why can't I stop crying still... how do i continue to rest before hubby gets up and wants to get going -to the city and all for the weekend.. guess I will just wash my face and hope the cold water running down my face will cool me off this emotions... and I shall just hug my hubby to sleep.. my Big Bear whos fast asleep in dreamland..