Saturday, January 15, 2011
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Breast Mouse?
Sometimes I feel a sharp pain in my chest, sometimes right at the breast.
I didn't suspect anything but just felt weird why would I be having these needle sharp pain from time to time.
I shrugged it off and I also delayed my pap smear tests for about 3 years since I gave birth to Jaden. I think I only did it once after a month or two after giving birth to Jaden and kept giving myself excuses that I won't be needing to do pap smear once a year.
Then, lately, just about two three months ago, I felt really bad pain at one side of my breast and it hurt so bad, it would practically wake me up from sleep.
Two months went by and I just thought it was due to hormones, aunty flo visits thus the swelling feeling but then again, when it hurts, I can really feel the lump which is rather obviously big.
This time round, coming into my third month, I decided to wait no more. The lumps are starting to scare me and so I quickly made an appointment with my gynae to have my pap smear done and also an ultrasound breast screening.
Yes, you heard me. Why an ultrasound on the breast rather than mammogram? Well.. mammo is actually much more suitable for women 40 and above as it requires compression, which in one doctor's words "Its gonna be one hell of a pain! Don't do it now that we are still young and the boobs aint saggy yet!"
So I took the doctor's advice and asked for a breast ultrasound instead.
While my gynae checked my lump for me, a female nurse is present in the same room and well, my gynae said the lump felt quite big and hard but should be non-cancerous. That was also what my doctor friend told me about breast cancer lumps actually don't hurt. So what I am going through now is probably a breast mouse. My gynae then told me that I probably would only need to have it surgically removed to be safe. He then, wrote me a referral letter to his surgical colleague and arranged an appointment for me to meet the other doctor this coming Monday.
Oh boy! Surgical? Now that is scaring me but if that is what it takes to bring me home healthy and able to take care of my son without worrying further, then surgical it is!
and the best thing right now is that my son sometimes headbang right onto the spot where it hurts the most when he throws tantrum. *sigh* how la to keep the pain away like that?
I hope when Monday comes, the doctor will be able to tell me what the lump is exactly and what is the next step I should be taking... wish me luck, will ya?
I didn't suspect anything but just felt weird why would I be having these needle sharp pain from time to time.
I shrugged it off and I also delayed my pap smear tests for about 3 years since I gave birth to Jaden. I think I only did it once after a month or two after giving birth to Jaden and kept giving myself excuses that I won't be needing to do pap smear once a year.
Then, lately, just about two three months ago, I felt really bad pain at one side of my breast and it hurt so bad, it would practically wake me up from sleep.
Two months went by and I just thought it was due to hormones, aunty flo visits thus the swelling feeling but then again, when it hurts, I can really feel the lump which is rather obviously big.
This time round, coming into my third month, I decided to wait no more. The lumps are starting to scare me and so I quickly made an appointment with my gynae to have my pap smear done and also an ultrasound breast screening.
Yes, you heard me. Why an ultrasound on the breast rather than mammogram? Well.. mammo is actually much more suitable for women 40 and above as it requires compression, which in one doctor's words "Its gonna be one hell of a pain! Don't do it now that we are still young and the boobs aint saggy yet!"
So I took the doctor's advice and asked for a breast ultrasound instead.
While my gynae checked my lump for me, a female nurse is present in the same room and well, my gynae said the lump felt quite big and hard but should be non-cancerous. That was also what my doctor friend told me about breast cancer lumps actually don't hurt. So what I am going through now is probably a breast mouse. My gynae then told me that I probably would only need to have it surgically removed to be safe. He then, wrote me a referral letter to his surgical colleague and arranged an appointment for me to meet the other doctor this coming Monday.
Oh boy! Surgical? Now that is scaring me but if that is what it takes to bring me home healthy and able to take care of my son without worrying further, then surgical it is!
and the best thing right now is that my son sometimes headbang right onto the spot where it hurts the most when he throws tantrum. *sigh* how la to keep the pain away like that?
I hope when Monday comes, the doctor will be able to tell me what the lump is exactly and what is the next step I should be taking... wish me luck, will ya?
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Snippets of my life
Daddy and Son first holiday trip together 
Sometimes he can be really sweet .. the word is sometimes ...
the bruises on my fingers after avoiding my best to whack Jaden after he spits out Cod Liver Oil all over me and the carpet so I whacked the chair he was sitting on instead...and Yes, I am that scary!!
Jaden sitting on the dinner table eating his mealsat least he is at the dinner table ;p
Stuff I lugged back from Sg @ Dec 2010
The supplements that Jaden has to eat daily.. there will be more from each trip I go down to Sg
my little Tarzan at home, tell me, would you not have a heart attack?
Jaden in his peejays -socks to keep him warm
Finally discovered how to open the fridge door
Playing the upside down game with his father
Some things that I got to deal with on a daily basisFriday, January 7, 2011
Overwhelmed at times..
I have never really been a smart student in school. Nor was I one in college. God knows why I even took up Science Stream when I obviously feel I might have been better off in the Arts.
and now, all the days spend in the lab and classroom when Mrs Bala, Pn Shobana and the chemical teachers were teaching away has come back to haunt me. Why didn't I pay close attention or why didn't I take the time out to understand all these things? It might have helped me today.
All these reading up on Jaden's condition has started to become a little too overwhelming for me.
DAN protocol vs AC protocol? Side effects? Permanent damage ?? Chelation? Enzymes -different types for different conditions? Probiotics -rotation of brands and strains and whatever more is important... Can you imagine how this is taking a toll on my puny useless brain?
Of course, I want the best for Jaden. I want the less side-effects as possible when it comes to putting this supplements / drugs down his body. I am the one at the moment to make the decision and I do not want to make the wrong decision that I would regret in life. It would be so unfair on Jaden for he is unable to tell me YES or NO to what is given to him at the moment so I have to be really careful with my choices.
Now that we have a DAN doctor on board, am I allowed to practice the AC chelation protocol instead of DAN? I know by going aggressive, we might see better results but it might also backfire? So how?
Somehow part of me wants to do the AC protocol because I feel it is much safer, although it takes a much longer time but definitely safer. I really need to state my mind out with Dr E when I see him the next time. I was already quite sceptical about giving Jaden his antifungals but well, it seems to clear up some of his autistic behavior but we still have a very very looooong way to go.
and the best thing is, even that I think I know I want to do the AC chelation protocol for Jaden, the amount of dosage, the different things to feed him in orally at every 4 hours intervention daily for a certain amount of days, then the off-days and back to giving him the rounds again and the research currently shows that a child might take 100 - 300 rounds in order to be recovered... but with every chelation, there will be a possible yeast flare up .. and then again, my question falls back to so howwwww?
Do we even have a medical officer here in Asia that practices AC protocol? Won't it make life easier if there was ever one of them somewhere in Asia?
Sometimes I feel so alone in this biomed journey. On some days, not really but well.. it has been me most of the time, trying to get all those goodness in him -keeping him on schedule on all his supplement schedule.
First thing he drinks up in the morning -Digestive Enzymes with juice / stuffed in fruits.
So it means, I either have to wake up earlier to chill the fruit to blend it into juice once Jaden wakes up.
After DE, it is mealtime, sprinkled with TAURINE after 6-7 spoonful of whatever he is having that day. These 14 days, not only it is sprinkled with TAURINE, it is also sprinkled with his Fluconazole (antifungal).
Then its on to feeding him his antibiotics on a spoon (thankfully this is only a 14 day course)
Next, mixed with juice again, his AWAKENING SPECTRUM POWDER, ZINC PLUS, CHROMIUM PICOLINATE & METHYCOBALMIN powder.
Give him a 1/2 hr rest to 1 hr, then its on to cutting bits of fruits up for him to go with his cod liver oil -5ml daily.
Then 2-3 hours after his first meal of the day, its on to mixing the probiotics with juice again and giving it to him.. then its bath time...
After bath time, its on to his gluthathione cream and magnesium sulfate cream on both his hands and back.
Depending on how early he ate, or if it is already 4 hours / 5 hours he ate, I better have been prepared with some defrosted meat / marinated meat to be cooked for his next meal. That too, if I have already washed up the earlier dishes / pots and pans / blender.
So the cycle begins again, Digestive enzymes to be fed again but this time, 1/2 hr - 1.5 hrs after his probiotics intake. If not, the DE will digest all the probiotics and all that probio that went down his throat will be useless.
Second meal, he will still get sprinkles of antifungal pill on his food but no longer TAURINE.
Guess he has to take most of the supplements in the morning, but not that much in the later meals.
After meal, the antibiotic, the awakening spectrum and then probiotics...
then on to DE again for the last meal of the day, ending the night with awakening spectrum, zinc plus and the probio just before bedtime.
So basically its like working around the clock, every hour to make sure he takes it all in.
I don't really mind chasing after him for him to down his supplements but the cleaning of dishes and pots and pans really sometimes just tires me out. But well, at least I get to listen to my mp3 while doing the cleaning.. so its a little bit better.
Now, do you see the reason why I am not able to get out of the house as often as I want to? Or get to do my own thing although from time to time, I will squeeze in time to do my own thing -FB, Blog and browse through my emails regarding the autism file.
NOW.. that is not all.. I haven't even talk about the part where I have to put everything down just to chase him away from the DVD player, light switches, TV cabinet, father's work table.. my wardrobe.. the toilet.. climbing on top of his father's glass shelf and now, the fridge door! He has finally learn how to leverage his strength to open the fridge door! BAH!
The cane is indeed my bestfriend in the house.
Thankfully, I still have some friends of mine, mostly my high school friends who would spend some time online to have a chat or two with me to keep me sane. My bestfriends and their stupid jokes and gossips to make me laugh and feel like I am still a part of the world.
It does really get depressng at times when you have done everything and Jaden is still crying out loud for no reason, throwing tantrums and the blaming game begins.
It really do seem like I am just swinging about at home, relaxing, no need to pick my brains out for the next proposal or project but whatever the mental stress of getting everything right for Jaden, what to cook for him, what treatment and side effects there is to one if the doctor suggest Jaden to do? to make darn sure Jaden doesn't fall sick, for that is my biggest fear... to make sure Jaden doesnt hurt himself playing, running or climbing.. to discipline the boy so he can grow up to be a good man. Am I not working as well? Do I have to be out of the house in order to work? *sigh*
I have no patience for housework actually. In fact, I hate cleaning up the house, wiping dust and and all that. Now, I can't even find some me time to wash my hair slowly and have it nicely blowdry with my hairdryer. I have to rush through things. So tell me, what makes you think I will have the time to do housecleaning. I rather spend RM55 for a maid to come in and clean my house spic and span for four hours.
Now that I have been slacking off half hour to blog about this, its back to getting all the supplements ready for Jaden to down it all..
and now, all the days spend in the lab and classroom when Mrs Bala, Pn Shobana and the chemical teachers were teaching away has come back to haunt me. Why didn't I pay close attention or why didn't I take the time out to understand all these things? It might have helped me today.
All these reading up on Jaden's condition has started to become a little too overwhelming for me.
DAN protocol vs AC protocol? Side effects? Permanent damage ?? Chelation? Enzymes -different types for different conditions? Probiotics -rotation of brands and strains and whatever more is important... Can you imagine how this is taking a toll on my puny useless brain?
Of course, I want the best for Jaden. I want the less side-effects as possible when it comes to putting this supplements / drugs down his body. I am the one at the moment to make the decision and I do not want to make the wrong decision that I would regret in life. It would be so unfair on Jaden for he is unable to tell me YES or NO to what is given to him at the moment so I have to be really careful with my choices.
Now that we have a DAN doctor on board, am I allowed to practice the AC chelation protocol instead of DAN? I know by going aggressive, we might see better results but it might also backfire? So how?
Somehow part of me wants to do the AC protocol because I feel it is much safer, although it takes a much longer time but definitely safer. I really need to state my mind out with Dr E when I see him the next time. I was already quite sceptical about giving Jaden his antifungals but well, it seems to clear up some of his autistic behavior but we still have a very very looooong way to go.
and the best thing is, even that I think I know I want to do the AC chelation protocol for Jaden, the amount of dosage, the different things to feed him in orally at every 4 hours intervention daily for a certain amount of days, then the off-days and back to giving him the rounds again and the research currently shows that a child might take 100 - 300 rounds in order to be recovered... but with every chelation, there will be a possible yeast flare up .. and then again, my question falls back to so howwwww?
Do we even have a medical officer here in Asia that practices AC protocol? Won't it make life easier if there was ever one of them somewhere in Asia?
Sometimes I feel so alone in this biomed journey. On some days, not really but well.. it has been me most of the time, trying to get all those goodness in him -keeping him on schedule on all his supplement schedule.
First thing he drinks up in the morning -Digestive Enzymes with juice / stuffed in fruits.
So it means, I either have to wake up earlier to chill the fruit to blend it into juice once Jaden wakes up.
After DE, it is mealtime, sprinkled with TAURINE after 6-7 spoonful of whatever he is having that day. These 14 days, not only it is sprinkled with TAURINE, it is also sprinkled with his Fluconazole (antifungal).
Then its on to feeding him his antibiotics on a spoon (thankfully this is only a 14 day course)
Next, mixed with juice again, his AWAKENING SPECTRUM POWDER, ZINC PLUS, CHROMIUM PICOLINATE & METHYCOBALMIN powder.
Give him a 1/2 hr rest to 1 hr, then its on to cutting bits of fruits up for him to go with his cod liver oil -5ml daily.
Then 2-3 hours after his first meal of the day, its on to mixing the probiotics with juice again and giving it to him.. then its bath time...
After bath time, its on to his gluthathione cream and magnesium sulfate cream on both his hands and back.
Depending on how early he ate, or if it is already 4 hours / 5 hours he ate, I better have been prepared with some defrosted meat / marinated meat to be cooked for his next meal. That too, if I have already washed up the earlier dishes / pots and pans / blender.
So the cycle begins again, Digestive enzymes to be fed again but this time, 1/2 hr - 1.5 hrs after his probiotics intake. If not, the DE will digest all the probiotics and all that probio that went down his throat will be useless.
Second meal, he will still get sprinkles of antifungal pill on his food but no longer TAURINE.
Guess he has to take most of the supplements in the morning, but not that much in the later meals.
After meal, the antibiotic, the awakening spectrum and then probiotics...
then on to DE again for the last meal of the day, ending the night with awakening spectrum, zinc plus and the probio just before bedtime.
So basically its like working around the clock, every hour to make sure he takes it all in.
I don't really mind chasing after him for him to down his supplements but the cleaning of dishes and pots and pans really sometimes just tires me out. But well, at least I get to listen to my mp3 while doing the cleaning.. so its a little bit better.
Now, do you see the reason why I am not able to get out of the house as often as I want to? Or get to do my own thing although from time to time, I will squeeze in time to do my own thing -FB, Blog and browse through my emails regarding the autism file.
NOW.. that is not all.. I haven't even talk about the part where I have to put everything down just to chase him away from the DVD player, light switches, TV cabinet, father's work table.. my wardrobe.. the toilet.. climbing on top of his father's glass shelf and now, the fridge door! He has finally learn how to leverage his strength to open the fridge door! BAH!
The cane is indeed my bestfriend in the house.
Thankfully, I still have some friends of mine, mostly my high school friends who would spend some time online to have a chat or two with me to keep me sane. My bestfriends and their stupid jokes and gossips to make me laugh and feel like I am still a part of the world.
It does really get depressng at times when you have done everything and Jaden is still crying out loud for no reason, throwing tantrums and the blaming game begins.
It really do seem like I am just swinging about at home, relaxing, no need to pick my brains out for the next proposal or project but whatever the mental stress of getting everything right for Jaden, what to cook for him, what treatment and side effects there is to one if the doctor suggest Jaden to do? to make darn sure Jaden doesn't fall sick, for that is my biggest fear... to make sure Jaden doesnt hurt himself playing, running or climbing.. to discipline the boy so he can grow up to be a good man. Am I not working as well? Do I have to be out of the house in order to work? *sigh*
I have no patience for housework actually. In fact, I hate cleaning up the house, wiping dust and and all that. Now, I can't even find some me time to wash my hair slowly and have it nicely blowdry with my hairdryer. I have to rush through things. So tell me, what makes you think I will have the time to do housecleaning. I rather spend RM55 for a maid to come in and clean my house spic and span for four hours.
Now that I have been slacking off half hour to blog about this, its back to getting all the supplements ready for Jaden to down it all..
Saturday, January 1, 2011
-= 2 0 1 1 =-
For the very first time, it is just me and Jaden spending New Year at home.
Best to keep him far from all the car and firework fumes.
Luckily we are still able to see bits of fireworks display from our balcony from the safety of the grills and he absolutely was fascinated by it.
Happy New Year.
May 2011 be better than 2010.
Best to keep him far from all the car and firework fumes.
Luckily we are still able to see bits of fireworks display from our balcony from the safety of the grills and he absolutely was fascinated by it.
Happy New Year.
May 2011 be better than 2010.
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