Right decisions?

So after 3 years of not seeing Jaden's opthamotologist, we went back again recently to check on his eye again. 

This time, the doctor said that he needs to have surgery on both his eyes and that freaked me out so bad.

Really? Is it a must?

He had this a sudden overnight turned in and I swear that it wasn't something he was born with. 

One can check back on all his photographs to date since birth to just before 4 years old and his both his eyes have always been normal looking. 

*sigh*

They took his weight and height, nevertheless, just in case I opt for surgery, which is likely the case but I am still very worried if I am making the right decision for him.

I dislike making decisions like these, these are the risks that I would not want to have any dealing with. It is not as if its a risk I take upon myself but for another being that I am responsible for. 

What if he does not want surgery? What if this and that pops up onto my mind but like the doctor said, its better to have it done when he is young right now compared to when he gets older. 

Should I? Should I not?

Once we settle down with all these moves, then I will really have to sit down and do more research before I give the green or red light to this surgery.

Jaden is currently weighing in at 23kg, which he has been weighing since the past 1-2 years, height is 124cm. 

I am also rather worried about his weight that has not shown any signs increment. Why is that so? Is his body not absorbing nutrients? Is it because of his leaky gut syndrome? 

See? I have so much on my mind, its really making me to look like some super paranoid mum.

People say, as long as they are healthy and happy, its fine. 

BUT what makes you think its healthy when we do not know for sure if its just the age (growth spurt slowing for a while) or is it really due to his body unable to absorb these nutrients to give him what he really needs to grow, both in weight and brain development?

It goes the same when it comes to Mason.

Am I making the right decision for him when I choose not to vaccinate him?

Is it wrong of me to hold back or delay when I clearly saw the difference between Jaden and Mason? 

Jaden had a really really bad case of ezcema and cradle cap since birth. The prolonged jaundice..

If only I knew back then about food sensitivity, IGg, IGe, what to avoid eating so the jaundice may reduce.. not to bathe him with Guiness (no thanks to the elderly people and their advice)...

What AEFI meant and how to look out for it since day 1 of vaccination. 

If only.. and that until now, has made me felt guilty towards the choices I made for Jaden last time and I want to make it different this time round with Mason. 

Already failed once, I need not fail twice unless its God's will but I will want to make it right for my children as much as I can or what I am capable of. 

If only.. it only they have these facebook mummy support groups that really do help a lot in terms of sharing experiences and advices, been there done that, seen that to see what results work best.

I was still very young at the time Jaden was born and my friends have yet become mummies, therefore I was quite alone when it comes to childcare.

These days, mummies are so well-informed that its good and bad at the same time, depending on the individual mummy that uses their knowledge to either help or shoot another one down. Human nature, the good and the ugly.