I like well-behaved children. I do understand that they will not be complete angels, sometimes with things up their sleeves but I really prefer them compared to those super uber naughty ones; those that has no respect for anybody or anything, rude, tantrum-throwing kids.
So, as a mother to my own son, I do fear that he turns into the kid that I hope to most avoid.. but everything is no thanks to the father.
Tell me, if it is right to allow the kid to bang his head against your head and continues doing so when you tell him sternly NO? So I whacked his thighs to tell him I mean business. The father got angry and told me off that the child is only playing. FINE!
The kid keeps pinching people.. wherever he get.. pressing boobs in public and all, scratching other people's faces. Is it wrong of me to whack his hands after telling him off several times it is wrong to do so? and whacking hands, I whack with my own hands.. but the father say, "Don't make me tu lan ah..." aaahhh fuck!
The kid throws tantrum by throwing everything off the table or whatever he can get his hands on. I take the cane ready and show him who is boss.. ready to whack once if it could send the message across that throwing tantrum for small stuff is WRONG.. and it turns out to be it is WRONG OF ME to whack the small one.
Its time for bed, and we have some pillows piled up against sharp corners of the wall so the little one won't bang his head when he gets too overly excited while playing... and the small one keeps wanting to take the pillow away (ONLY WHEN HIS FATHER IS WITH HIM... with me? He dare not even touch the pillow but will play with other things instead) and I will give him a stern warning first.. and if he continues to take the pillow away, and I whack, the father say I am crazy!
You know how kids can be so wriggly and not stay still ? So when I lift the cane up to whack, sometimes he just moves too fast and instead of the thigh, I terhit the calves... the father threw the cane away from my hands, scolded me even further that I should look properly before landing the cane and that I could have hurt his kid's ligaments and threaten what if he takes the cane and hit my head? Great life huh?
Then if I don't use the cane, and only uses the hands.. its another story..
conclusion, I am a mother that has the tendency to abuse my own kid.
So what more right do I have as a mother? Only to feed and bathed the boy? Thats it? Thats my role??
It really pissed the shit out of me and even makes me NOT WANT TO HAVE ANOTHER CHILD because there is already fear in me that should there be another child, he/she might just end up being another naughty one! NO THANKS.. for I am just a mother who has the tendencty to abuse my own kid.
So, as a mother to my own son, I do fear that he turns into the kid that I hope to most avoid.. but everything is no thanks to the father.
Tell me, if it is right to allow the kid to bang his head against your head and continues doing so when you tell him sternly NO? So I whacked his thighs to tell him I mean business. The father got angry and told me off that the child is only playing. FINE!
The kid keeps pinching people.. wherever he get.. pressing boobs in public and all, scratching other people's faces. Is it wrong of me to whack his hands after telling him off several times it is wrong to do so? and whacking hands, I whack with my own hands.. but the father say, "Don't make me tu lan ah..." aaahhh fuck!
The kid throws tantrum by throwing everything off the table or whatever he can get his hands on. I take the cane ready and show him who is boss.. ready to whack once if it could send the message across that throwing tantrum for small stuff is WRONG.. and it turns out to be it is WRONG OF ME to whack the small one.
Its time for bed, and we have some pillows piled up against sharp corners of the wall so the little one won't bang his head when he gets too overly excited while playing... and the small one keeps wanting to take the pillow away (ONLY WHEN HIS FATHER IS WITH HIM... with me? He dare not even touch the pillow but will play with other things instead) and I will give him a stern warning first.. and if he continues to take the pillow away, and I whack, the father say I am crazy!
You know how kids can be so wriggly and not stay still ? So when I lift the cane up to whack, sometimes he just moves too fast and instead of the thigh, I terhit the calves... the father threw the cane away from my hands, scolded me even further that I should look properly before landing the cane and that I could have hurt his kid's ligaments and threaten what if he takes the cane and hit my head? Great life huh?
Then if I don't use the cane, and only uses the hands.. its another story..
conclusion, I am a mother that has the tendency to abuse my own kid.
So what more right do I have as a mother? Only to feed and bathed the boy? Thats it? Thats my role??
It really pissed the shit out of me and even makes me NOT WANT TO HAVE ANOTHER CHILD because there is already fear in me that should there be another child, he/she might just end up being another naughty one! NO THANKS.. for I am just a mother who has the tendencty to abuse my own kid.
3 comments:
Don't worry, you are not abusing your own kids. I do understand those moments when our frustrations get the better of us and we'd simply use the rodto solve the problem.
I used to use the rod but have kept it out of sight (thus, out of mind). Rod is sometimes still needed on the children but the tendency for us to use it when angry derides the correct use for it.
When my children are misbehaving, I'd usually try to think and find out why and think of other ways to stop them.
When I'm under pressure, frustrated or simply have no energy left to deal with those errant behaviour, I did use the rod but I know that it simply used wrongly.
Look forward and try to correct whatever errant behaviour your children are displaying and why.
It's a long road and everyday is a learning process for us.
Well, that's what they call parenting!
em, you are doing the right thing.. smacking j for not behaving himself and also when he doesnt listen.. even i do that to arianna when she steps out of line..
with me, i tell clint that he's not at home most of the time so he doesnt know what is going on.. so just leave the disciplining to me.. and he does..
we as mothers, dont want our beloved kids to grow up to be spoilt brats...
throwing things off the table, a definite no no for me, guarantee kena smack...
do what u have to em.. the guys are just there for fun and laughter... when it comes to really looking after their child.. they have no blood clue to what they are doing..
I feel you.. but i guess lucky for me clint just leaves it to me.. and he too does do his part in disciplining her when she gets out of line with him...
just stay strong and do what u believe is true...
ps: even i dont want another kid.. arianna is already a handful:)
alternative-mom: I so understand what you mean by using the cane is wrong when we are in an angry state.. I avoid whacking or caning when I am angry but just nagging, sometimes ending up shouting at the boy only to be told off for shouting.. *sigh
Chris: If only my husband lets me do all the disciplining.. he wants to interfere yet when the boy is naughty, he complains... sucks being stuck in the middle.
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