eM blabbering again...

I have weird dreams lately. Funny.. how it always relates back to waking me up just in time to feel Jaden struggle for feed.

Life definitely has changed. I start looking out for more of Jaden's stuff than mine.

Worrying about Hubby not being able to cope with Jaden when both of them are left alone for more than 2 hours.

Sometimes I wonder was my *pat toh-in* sessions with my boyfriend cum Hubby too short-lived?

Well, one thing for sure that cleared all doubts that I had when I was still a young little girl is that I AM DEFINITELY MARRIED. I worry most of the time lsat time that I might not be able to find someone to love me enough to want to marry me.

I had always wondered who my children might look like? Hubby or I? Well.. guess now I know the answer. =)

I am still into concerts, raves, parties, clubbing and drinking but these all just don't seem to fit into my schedule no more. Not even like once in 3 months. WHYYYYY?

I love to travel. Have been going places at least once a year be it local or overseas but ...

Can you imagine me to be just weighing about 42-43kg back in year 2000-2003? I was even skinnier before 2000. Now? Guess I am at a healthy weight of 45-46kg. Can't believed that I actually went up to 61kg at the peak of my pregnancy.

My son is right now scolding my mother for keeping his toys. You heard me right.. he was only a tiny helpless little newborn a year ago and today, he is standing up, scolding his grandmother at the top of his voice. *hold on.. gonna smack him for awhile for being a rude boy!*

I love my Penang college moments just as much as I did during while doing my time in Limkokwing. There was hardly any worries. It was all fun, research, fun, assignments, fun, some misunderstandings here and there, fun and more fun. My friends were great!

I have been living on my own since F4 and that was when all my nonsense started. Boyfriend hunting.. ahhahaha** I would not have believe the elders when they say that it was all puppy love. Now I do. Well, look on the bright side, I get a good laugh out of those times.

After 24 years of living, I'd only got to find out of my real background. After 24 years of knowing nothing of such sort, not even suspecting a tiny little bit. It doesn't matter anyway but the thought of the secret lived amongst my relatives and family.

I missed going to the beach with Joy. I missed going to the island with my 4 girls and a guy. I missed going on a 10 day trip with the wackiest camerawhores. I missed going to Haadyai with my mom only for shopping. I missed the sunrise watching madness with Joy. We woke up at 6am for it.. *unbelievable!!* I missed hanging out at the beach, listening to the waves, feel the breeze, go waterjetskiing..

Learned ballet since I was 4/5 years old. Because of some stupid excuse to want to spend more time with boyfriend, I quit at 16. This I will regret my whole life because now, I would have chosen dancing over the boyfriend. I missed my ballet friends too. We were a good bunch of friends. We grew up together real fine.

For now, I guess I have something to look forward to.

Jaden growing up, how my marriage will turn for the better *crosses fingers real hard because I want to grow old with Hubby*

No complains.. just maybe sometimes I like some 'me' time...