Wednesday, October 31, 2007



HAPPY HALLOWEEN PEEPS!!!

Till we meet in Dec...

Gwen is leaving back to Penang in about 45 minutes. Her cab will be here soon to pick her up. *sigh* My bestfriend will not be back till December but then again, tomorrow is Nov and next month is Dec so it wouldn't seem like a long time. Anyway counting back the years shes been to and fro Penang-Melb-Penang.. this is the only year I see her 4 times. Jan / April / Oct / Dec... what does that say about her earnings in AUSD? Just kidding.. I'd appreciate the leaves she takes to come back -for my wedding and Jaden's full moon / PC's wedding too.. I just feel so bad that I am unable to entertain her like how I used to, bringing her here and there... I have another commitment to see to and that is my top priority at the moment. Gwen understands...

I hate it! I hate it when the pimple grows inside your nose. You can't see it but you OBVIOUSLY can FEEL IT! Its causing you so much pain, that even a slightest brush from anybody will cause you to jump out of your skin and curse that person right to the end of the world. Yeap! That is the pain I am feeling.. so miserable thinking about it and feeling it at the same time.. AARRGGHHH!!!

Baby Jaden is now sleeping on my side of the bed. Woke up for feed and decided he wants to sleep on our bed, next to his father. Both of them having the same sleep pose. Confirm-lah hes Hubby's son! Have to change his diapers soon.. seems full but I dare not disturb because he fell asleep straight after feed. Its hard to make him sleep back if he gets all wide-eye and excited.. Its still too early in the day to be up and running for me.. Jaden woke up at 5am and played / struggled / feed till about 6am and then wakes up again at 730am and just slept off at about 8am. That also with much adjustment to his choice of placement on my side of the bed! Choosie choosie..

Still rather a bit blur but have to see Gwen off first.. =) but first thing first.. she is bombarding my toilet right now as I type.. hehehe (she definitely will kill me for telling the whole world bout it..) My Gwen.. my pat-toh-tia partner in crime..

Aahh.. and that reminds me now.. Pa-in-Law will soon be over to borrow my car today.. Please, may it not be so early.. I need some sleep!!!!!


Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Heart Scan

Jaden received his second Hepatits B jab last night. Doc checked him thoroughly, and gave us one news that made us panic. Jaden's heartbeat has got a shwishing sound in between his normal heartbeat. Doc referred us to a paediatric cardiologist to have Jaden's heart ultrasound-scanned.

I called the specialist centre today to make an appointment. Thankfully, they could fit me an appointment today... The cardiologist checked Jaden and told us that babies at this age have this common swooshing sound. Jaden, according to him and the med observation, he said is fine. Since Jaden has been feeding regularly, not turning any other colour than red when he is trying to poo or cry, putting on a healthy weight.. the swhooshing sound will go away soon enough... Fixed another checkup in two months time just to make sure that everything has gone back normal. Although Doc says its normal and all, I know deep inside Hubby and I are still worried...

Gwen is now staying at my house. Poor girl who has her heart set to go shopping for stuff has to be confined at home with me to help take care of baby. At least now she will have a life by going out dinner with her brother. Feel so paiseh she has to teman me like that at home. Baby just needs his mother's care now.. and father's snore to go to sleep.. Hes been up quite often now in the middle of the night, getting all wide-eye and kicky at about 3am onwards.. and this will last till 7 or 8am. So you all can stat imagining how I look like. Hormones all going wrong, sprouting out pimples which I should not have and dry skin is peeling like mad.. I feel so horrendously ugly, not to say pretty to begin with anyway.. ehhehe

Tomorrow is 31st Oct. Which mean tis time to be all sweet-tooth all over again but then, I am scared Baby might not be able to take it.. *sigh* Maybe I should just refrain myself this month and wait for Dec. Afterall I was well fed the previous two consecutive months which ends with a 31st... =)

My Joy is going to Shanghai soon.. to be accurate, this thursday a little past midnight.. well. good for her, good for her portfolio, good-lah but then again, I will surely miss her.. and talking to her in the mid of the night online... Have a good safe trip, stay healthy and best of luck with the Chinese Chinese yea, Joy? Muah!

Baby Jaden's Full Moon Dinner @ 28th Oct 2007

Jaden Simon Yap's Full Moon BATMAN cake


Godmothers from Aussie & Penang eating red hard-boil eggs


Sharon & Godmother from Subang eating red hard-boil eggs


Aunt Lin carrying the feisty Baby Jaden


Daddy looking at Jaden looking back at Daddy


Mom & I posing one for the cam, while dad chose to ignore us...


Family pics :: Mom, Mummy eMs, Dad, mOmO Daddy and Ma-in-Law


Family pics :: Aunt Lin, Mummy eMs, Pa-in-Law, Aunty Diana and Jaden's great-great-granduncle


Family pics :: Mummy eMs, Yvonne, Jon, Aunt Lin, Herman, Kelly, mOmO Daddy and Edmund


Family pics :: Mummy eMs, sis, David (future bro-in-law) amd mOmO Daddy


The Mummy, The auntie, The Godmothers


Besties forever; Jaden's godmothers


Girls i Love :: Auntie Sharon & my Joy


Last but not least, the parents with their son

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Happy Full Moon Jaden!

Everybody is pouring in. I meant the family members from both sides...

Full moon packages are going out to relatives...

Baby is receiving more gifts from his god-mothers and mummy's friends...

Daddy and Mummy bought him a BATMAN birthday cake...

In an hour at 5.24pm, he is officially ONE MONTH OLD.

Today, tonight, Baby Jaden Simon Yap is the star!

Everyone needs a Joy in their life...

Why you ask?

1) Joy is always there for you
2) Joy makes you laugh even when she is not trying to
3) Joy keeps you company
4) Joy is sincere
5) Joy is full of love
6) Joy makes you joyful at all times without fail
7) Joy drives you around in a little mean monster
8) Joy is one ultimate friend / auntie, that will never ever be found again

I need a Joy in my life.. just because she is Joy.. I actually do not need reasons.
Just because she is Joy, my Joy!



Thank you for being there for me all the time! *love**

our 6ix months ...

I am married to my Hubby for 6 months now...
It seemed just like it was 6 months for me when my status with him was just a girlfriend.
Still my other half, my best-friend, someone who completes me... never failed to be there for me.. tho at times his temper erupts much more actively than any other active volcanoes but deep down inside, he loves me.. and of course, now our son...
6 months and still going strong..

Not only its our 6th married-Monthliversary but also our son's full moon. He is officially one-month old. We are only going to celebrate within family members and his god-mothers.
SChee and Gwen is purposely flying down to KL to celebrate this special day...
Sharon is coming down straight from Malacca after work..
Joy is always around for Jaden when I need her to..
The sacrifices they go through for their god-son.. lovely women aren't they?

Didn't I say 28th was our special day? Everything, most of it always falls around this number or date for us.. our lucky number...

Nyways,
HAPPY 6th-MONTHLIVERSARY HUBBY!!! <3

Saturday, October 27, 2007

All alone...

David's wedding dinner reception starts at 630pm, later in a while.

Hubby is his MC for the night.

Mummy pulak is stuck at home, taking care of her little boss a.k.a. Jaden.

Its just a matter of a few hours, 2 hours to be exact before the reception begins...

Hubby has no transport to the venue.

Bad Bad Bad ...

*****

5pm :: Luckily Yvonne is kind enough to pick Hubby up to send him all the way to Bangi.
David, told you to chill didn't we.. My Hubby will be there no matter what.. and everything is under control..

I am now left all alone at home.. going to clean up some dishes while I still can so the fridge will have space again..
Joy would be coming round after shes done with office. What will I do without her?
Need her help to bathe Jaden later..

Tomorrow Jaden will meet ALL his god-mothers.. they are all going to be there for him tomorrow. So pampered yea? =)

I can't help thinking of PC's wedding still.. all my friends.. ALL OF THEM are going to be there, chilling, talking, having fun.. and.. *sniff* I am going to be at home, staying put, recovering from whatever flu I caught for the past one week.. and then organize the family dinner tomorrow..


Friday, October 26, 2007

Terribly Sorry...

Dear Denn & PC,

I looked forward to this wedding since last year when you both announced it.

I self-invited myself and personally confirmed with you both that I will attend it no matter what

aLas,

I fell sick, unwell, unfit, all swelled up to attend and also the responsibility to take care of my son as nobody really dares to handle him just yet..

*sigh*

I am so so so terribly sorry that I can't make it to your wedding now Denn & PC. You know how much I really want to attend your special day... to be able to share your joy... =(

Neverending apologies with lots of love,
eMs

Thursday, October 25, 2007

from God-mother Joy's Collection





I might as well

be quarantined and be labeled dangerous to go near to...

Not only did the eyelid bengkak gila b*bi sial, there is a hidden small tiny weeny pimple in the nose, dry skin, runny nose that makes you sniff like mad; sometimes gasping for air... a dry throat that needs constant watering... stretch marks, a growling tummy and of course the desire to sleep in peace throughout a day if possible (impossible tho).

How like that? How?

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

It only happens to me...

when I am about to attend a function, to want to look pretty and all.. it will always happen to me and only me.

Now my right eyelid is swelling back again. AGAIN I tell you!

First, it happened when I wanted to take a nice passport size photo for my marriage cert and also IC.. the swelling was there..

Then, my bridal photo shoot..
During my wedding...
and when I went back to Penang for a short 3 days 2 night ...
and NOW, when I am about to head back to Penang to attend Denn & PC's wedding...

Pimples are now starting to break out too.. which I have not had before.. maybe its just the hormones in me adjusting back but the swelling of the right eye lid? Aaarrgghh!! Frustrating alright.. not only it is painful and itchy but also causes my eyes to want to close most of the time and it looks big yet small!

Only these things can happen to me.. thats why I don't blame Hubby when he labels me sakai..

*sigh*

Sunday, October 21, 2007

My Sunday

Took Panadol but its not helping...
My head is exploding! First the right side, then now the left...
Need to go sit in my 'office' as I need to go badly now.. Maybe it will help with relieving the wind out of my head.. been passing gas that smells of my food intake today.. UUrrghh!!

My air-con is leaking water on me.. *plop plop plop* irritate the shit out of me...

Hubby is out getting med for me and other essential stuff we need at home... hes in Guardian and will be buying a pair of black pantyhose for me to wear to PC's dinner. Do you think the staff in Guardian will eye him suspiciously?
@_@ they do not have black pantyhose :: only dark dark brown.. stupiak!

Daddy finally got Baby Jaden's birth cert done. Now waiting to collect his MyKID card in two weeks.
JADEN SIMON YAP - anak lelaki kepada Simon Yap dan Emily Loo
Baby Jaden has more cash in hand than his mother. How sad and pathetic the mother can be?
Daddy and Mummy is going to open a bank account for Jaden soon.
Baby Jaden feels as if he had piled on some weight because I find him a little heavier to carry now when I have to breastfeed, change or soothe him. =)

Benedict D.O.M has 40% alcohol. I am suppose to drink it neat every night before I sleep. I enjoy a drink or two occasionally but D.O.M? Lets just say I rather drink a full bottle of wine to replace that one small tiny weeny cuppa I have to down daily.

My Hubby's two fishes are ganging up on the smaller one -not sure if that one is 'The Explorer' or 'Daisy' but she hides under the artificial bush to survive... smart little fish!

Hubby and I are into electrocuting fruit flies that attacks Cheeko's food bowl and also killing ants. That is because the ants declared war with us by appearing on Jaden's bed. DIE!!!!

Cheeko's pet gave birth to a small little one, who now also is adopted by Cheekie. My pets have pets of their own.

Aunt Lin came over with more food for me today. Help Hubby to do some marketing, and now we have more chicken and pork in our freezer! I will not starve the week... Such a sweet lady she is! =)

Heard Pa-in-Law is 'bathing' Little Monster everyday. Little Monster must be very happy with such VIP treatment.. lega-lah my heart that Little Monster is well taken care of.

Saturday, October 20, 2007

Magic Fingers

Hubby is cursing his lungs out at the TV.
Everton vs. Liverpool is on tonight.
Enough said.

Pn Nora came to massage me for the second time. *sigh* Lovely lovely but somehow I wished it longer but her magic fingers did wonders even if it was a short while. A very nice lady to talk to and she got lots of parenting tips to share with. Told me about her previous job too... Learnt alot from her in just a few hours, I actually enjoyed her company. Must be why she is still hawt in this market then, making all mothers feel comfortable with her being around them. I like the way she pulls my head and stretches my neck. Soothing alright!

David's bachelor night tak jadi. All their plans failed to materialize. Too bad! hehehe
They ended up heading to the land of fireflies for dinner and God knows where for drinks later on, should they even have the strength to drink on after the meal and long journey. Its only a week away now that he will be a married man and join our ranking as the married couple. Same goes to Denn & PC.. so fast.. it was only last year when Denn announced that he is going to marry PC and *PAP!* the time has come for them to say their "I Dos.."

Hubby's been cooking for me these days. *yummy* Even Pn Nora noticed it today and asked have I been eating quite a lot lately because my tummy is coming back with a slight buldge now.. Must watch it.. If not, I would not been able to slim down back normal. o.Oh I also got some sex education from her.. more to protected sex education, just in case I want to avoid getting pregnant like immediately again.. have to remember! *gRin*


o.Oh & before i forget ::

HAPPY BIRTHDAY VALERIE TAN WEI WEI!!!

Hubby says he wants four more children. Maybe two more.
I say give me a maid and I shall bear you our children.

Now now, don't come to a conclusion to think I am spoilt for asking for a maid. Why you'd ask?
Thats because you do not know the stress and amount of work that has got to be done around the house 24/7-DAILY such as cleaning up, sweeping, moping, wiping, throwing rubbish, feeding the rabbits and making sure they do get their daily runs around the house too.. cleaning their cages... laundry. *sigh* Its a lot of work and Hubby is doing most of it now, but hes going to 'lose it' soon because he just have too much on his plate all at once.
To have to plan for work, to have to plan for clients, to have to take care of household stuff, to have to make sure bills are paid now I am still confined, to have to be Jaden's shampoo boy, to have to cook for me now that his mom has gone back, to have to do lah a lot of stuff. Others have confinement ladies, others have maids, other have in-laws or parents to help out. We only have each other to see to it that the house and baby are all well taken care of. OURSELVES!

so far, looking at my son, I feel so blessed... I liked the whole idea of getting pregnant and giving birth and all. Its a very beautiful but 'bloody' process of giving life to another but there are times, I wished Hubby is not as hard-headed as he is so it would be much more easier for both of us. He gets tense when baby cries just because he has yet to understand Jaden's cries. Sometimes I just want to take my son out of here with me, leave the father be till Jaden is a little much more older, where he can voiced his wants and needs to make life easier for his dad... but nothing comes easy like that. The process of learning.. needs lots of patience.. unfortunately, which the father does not have any... love yes! patience.. hardly... which makes it really difficult for me to cope at times.. False assumptions and accusations does not help either when both are tired and easily agitated.

Friday, October 19, 2007

The truth shall prevail...

Woke up to Baby Jaden's cries yesterday morning at 7am and never looked back at the bed since till about 2am early this morning. He was just too hyper and refuses to sleep. Playing, pedalling his legs, swinging his arms, looking around, taking really really short naps in betweens... he must have been sugar-high or caffeine-d by my chocolate milk drink. Think I shall stick to just plain water today and see what happens.

o.Oh and Jaden outgrew his first sleepsuit dey.. the happy yellow sunshine sleepsuit that Hubby and I got him.
Hes growing. Last night, he tried to learn how to imitate Hubby's expressions and is trying to turn to his side already. Just that he has not got enough weight and strength to push himself over fully.. not just yet...

*** *** *** *** ***

Found out that she spread lies about Hubby and me.
She told them that I wanted my car back from Pa-in-Law, padahal no such thing ever came out from my mouth I swear...
She told them that I threw away Aunt Lin's cooking, yah, the leftover of chicken bones and maybe 20-30ml of the wine so that I can have new helpings the next day.. its called CLEARING UP THE TABLE AFTER YOU ARE DONE WITH DINNER!
She told them that Hubby accused the aunt of teaching her how to gamble.. padahal she was the one is always looking out for numbers and buying them...
She told Hubby that she wanted to buy pork to cook soup for me, and which she bought them and other more stuff, using Hubby's money to bring back to cook for her other son ... The other son, FYI, is working and is nearing his 40th birthday but lets just say he is USELESS, SELFISH and only cares about himself. He has no one to think of other than himself, not even his own mother, brother or grandmother...

Hurtful eh?

and the best thing, its not as if I am not in good terms or you know, I am the daughter-in-law from hell.. with my good-nature, patience and just minding my own business, I get the bullet too from her just because she is defensive about her own doings.. which is lying.. *sigh*

Well, guess she just blew the chance of me trusting her and giving her my all... not really worth it now... Some old ladies aren't just really worth respecting for...

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Lies

She did not go back at all.
She told the others that she will only be going back on Sunday.
She took the money, saying she wanted to see doctor.
Instead, she will be taking the money to spend on unnecessary stuff and on him, who has no shame.
Instead, she will be asking for more just because she thinks he owes her, which he did not.
She only talks about him and do not bother about him.
Shes family but does not really treat him like one.
She did the ultimate sin towards him.
She lied!

Hes unhappy.
Hes sadden by her behavior.
Hes broken down by her lies.

I am angry.
I am disappointed.
I am starting to build my own wall around my family, wanting to protect them from getting hurt.

Never again am I going to be that nice should the situation needs no such requirement.
Never again shall I let those lies break down those I love so dearly.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Lovin' ma Italian noodles..

Woke up to Ma-in-Law having packed her stuff, ready to go home to Melaka.
Nope, its not my fault. She practically must have been bored being confined together with me at home and the fact that she must have missed Raymond badly.
So, when I was all washed up, ready to eat lunch, she told me that she is going back because she needs to go visit her acupuncture doctor... so I called a cab for her and Hubby companied her down. Think she will be heading home only tomorrow after staying a night tonight at Aunt Lin's.

Today, I got my second massage of my life. This time, its the post-natal massage... and gawd, I tell you, I didn't know I need it so badly till her hands worked the magic. I can feel the stress stucked in my body all massaged away.. there was no cracking of bones or what-so-ever you get at those spas.. but this is enough to take your mind off everything and just relax. I am going to get more and more of this goodness in this coming week. Actually its 3 sessions paid for, to work the magic, to restore me back my tummy and whatever that is good for me.

Hubby is cooking back for me. I am going to have spagghetti bolognese tonight, with minced beef.. mmm.. yummie! I missed Hubby's cooking so much...

Dang. got to go check on Baby now. So till then, tata n ciao.. I can feel my appetite working up and tummy getting ready to be a glutton to Hubby's cooking now.. muah!**


Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Simon Yap Jr

"So tell me do I look like a little more like my father each day?"

Silent Frustrations

**edited gila babi sial.. actually deleted lah my silent frustrations... ** realized it bad of me to voice it out loud like that.. but I thank you for your kind understanding.. should you understood-ed lah..

cheers
^u^

Monday, October 15, 2007

CSI Supreme Sunday marathon..

I was contemplating to finish watching the whole 3 series of CSI Supreme Sundays. Although CSI Vegas and CSI:NY is a re-run, nevertheless its rather entertaining to watch. Baby Jaden woke up at 11pm, just 5 minutes after CSI:Miami started, crying for his milk feed and what followed on later after his feed, the mummy who so semangat-ed that wanted to watch TV fell asleep till about 1am. Guess what I woke up to? I dreamt that I was about to poo, and damn right, there was a lot of shit to poo.. after about a week of constipation after delivery, pooping never felt so orgasmic, relieving every single weight that is making you feel so heavy.

Helped Hubby finish up some report compilation... and then there goes my siren wailing for milk again. *sigh*
Baby Jaden went and cuddled up with Daddy after his feed, and fell asleep peacefully in Daddy's arm.. aaawww.. S

o grateful Monday is still a public holiday. I need Hubby to be beside me. Feel so lost without him now.. my pillar of strength and support...

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Domesticating myself for the right reasons...

Almost the whole clan of Yap was in my house this afternoon, sharp at 12pm. Luckily Jaden woke Hubby and I up before the arrival of the clan. I am officially car-less now that I borrowed my car to Pa-in-Law as his car was robbed last night. Since I won't be able to go out with Hubby and do work for a few more weeks, might as well let Little Monster purred up on the road under Pa-in-Law's care. I just hope they know how to treat Little Monster right and with much respect. =)

Aunt Lin cooked for me a big whole pot of ginger wine chicken again. She never fails to share with me advices on how to take care of baby and myself now I am recovering from my delivery. Such a sweet lady!

Today my appetite is working up a little, so I ate my meals without anyone to ask me to eat and eat. So proud of myself. Hubby is sleeping now, taking a short nap, recuperating from the only few hours sleep he had early this morning.

I am now dreading for 26th to arrive. No bad intentions meant, Denn and PC but the thought of leaving Jaden in Hubby's care worries me that both these boys can't really cope. I am scared that Hubby loses his mind just after a day of taking care of Jaden and Jaden would probably miss his mummy's smell and lovin'. Hopefully Aunt Lin is able to help Hubby out a little that coming weekend. Mummy promise would be back as soon as possible and hopefully she can leave as late as late evening on Friday so she can spend time with Jaden. =(

Talking about Denn & PC's wedding, Linaree, you forgot about the dresses! HrrummPphh!! Nyways, its ok. Now, I am worried about not having the right heels. I no longer have any heels to wear. All had been cleaned off me since I was pregnant, so now, gives me a very good reason to go shoe shopping. SHOES!!! Can't wait... but then again, should I need to choose - tostay home to take care of my son or go shopping? I would choose to take care of my son.. any given time of the day..

So domesticated dah!

Realization...

I realized that my life has changed.. no matter how and what I say.. but it changed. I am no longer the girl that hops around, the girl that laughs and shouts and cry whenever she feels like it.. I am a girl that is now married, and have a responsibility to maintain my relationship with Hubby and his family, my own family now I am married so nobody would say that I neglected them once I am married because I think and miss them every single day. My responsibility as a mother, a good role model for my son, to discipline him and make sure he grows up to have respect for all around him.

My friends came over today to visit me. Linaree, Kelvin, Su Ann and Joseph.. so carefree, going wherever they want to, out with friends we have not met up since grad.. I missed them all. I missed disturbing them and sharing a good laugh. Looking at them made me study myself even clearly. I know that I could no longer join them in all that whenever wherever... but there will be a chance one day.. when my son grows up a little more.. now, its all about caring for him, making sure he grows up healthy and strong and safe! So just for you peeps to know, I do actually miss you guys badly and all our good shitty times we shared during college days... and as for my childhood friends since SSI days, you don't even have to say anything because I missed you guys too!

Looking down at my son sleeping in his cot, with a smile plastered all over his face is enough to make me go all soft and gaga... how can anyone not love their child I wonder with all those psycho cases? Children are so innocent, so pure, untainted.. *sigh*

My Pa-in-Law got robbed early morning yesterday at gunpoint and knifepoint -just right after he stepped out of his car after buying breakfast for the family. Luckily, they only took the car and not hurt him. The robbers must have marked him for quite some time before making their moves because it seemed they know his schedule. Pa-on-Law must have been traumatised by the whole thing... but like what I said earlier, at least they took the goods and left the man alone. Karma will come to them... be it now or later but they will pay for what they did.. Nobody gets away with bad deeds... So angry! On the first day of Raya some more.. the robbers must have planned all these to happen today because everybody would be in a holiday mood and not expect any of this sort to take place.. when you least expect la yah Malaysia... =(

Anyway, I want to thank Angel and Cecelia for their baby gifts. Thank you so much.. and Kelvin and Linaree, I shall let you guys know about how effective the poopy-hole is once Jaden starts to grow to S size diapers.. but really, thank you for such a thoughtful gift! =) Muax!

Saturday, October 13, 2007

Selamat Hari Raya

ku ucapkan Selamat Hari Raya to all my Muslim friends...

Two years ago :: I resented the fattie's attitude and never fail to wish him ill luck!
Two years ago :: I got to go Beijing for a short 4 days holiday.


A year ago :: I moved in to this house of mine, with the help of Gynette and SK.
A year ago :: My rabbits were just fitting nicely into Hubby's and my palm.


Today :: I gave birth to a Baby son.
Today :: My rabbits are so huge, they have to get bigger cages so they can move around much more freely when they are not let out
Today :: Hubby and I are married and we are officially parents...


Next year :: ? who knows what could possibly happen in a year's time? Nothing is impossible!
So many things can happen and change in a year, don't you think so?

Friday, October 12, 2007

Out of Sync...

I have lost touch with all communications with the world except for the occasional internet log ons.
I have not read papers since 29th Sept, news online does not seem to interest me that much.
I have not had good proper hearty full meals since Baby Jaden came outta me. (no appetite , not blaming the cook.. its me)

I am constantly tired and would want to sleep at every chance I get and cuddle with my Hubby.
I am physically and mentally drained dry with all the concentration poured over my son.

I feel the responsibility in me to protect him from all germs and bacteria and make sure he gets his nutritious feeds daily.
I resent those that picked him out from the crib while he is sleeping just because they want to see him up close and personal.
I dislike it when they talk to Jaden and touch him while he is sleeping. Can't a baby get a good sleep?
I personally hate it when they touch baby without having their hands wash firstly.. all the germs! UURRgghh!!

Motherly instinct in me. Getting more protective every day...

On another note, Hubby and I are starting to plan Baby Jaden's full moon party. Not sure if we want to make it big or just close family members? I know the in-Laws wants Hubby and I to make it just for the family members but its not everyday I give birth and Baby celebrates his firsts...

Distorted Reality

You know TV can be real evil. They portray reality to be so easy as ABC. Pregnant women that just gave birth seems to look slim and loses their tummy right after they are discharged from hospital. Newborns grow up easily, behaving and all. None of it is true. Want to know the real truth?

Tummy still remains but it does kempis down to about 4-5 month pregnant look. It takes a while before it goes back into shape, and that also depends on certain bodies.

Newborns wake up every 1 1/2hr to 2 hrs to scream for milk, they poo and pee whenever wherever and however they like. They may be suckling on your breast and still let out some funny loud noises from beneath.
Today, Baby Jaden played from morning till about 530pm before he decides that he wants to sleep, not in his crib but on my pillow, right beside me. Peeping at me from time to time to assure himself that his mummy is there to keep him company and safe. Needless to say, this mummy of his also fell asleep...

Hanging out with friends, with Baby in the stroller, hot looking mama? Don't even think about it until maybe Baby is about 9 months old or older.. changing nappies and rushing to Baby room to breastfeed aint very fashionable after all.. not if some freak milk drip stains thru your bra and shirt.. Not very nice huh?

Food intake at the moment is no more consistent. The appetite is no longer there because you fear each time you place your ass down on the dinner chair, your baby might start to scream for his dinner.. you wanna hit the toilet and take a quick hot shower, but you also fear he wakes up and wails for you as no other can calm him down like you do. You do not want to disturb Hubby as he has been working real real hard.. not to mention, that he has been working during the day and cleaning up the house at night, taking care of the baby rabbits..

Anyway, since tomorrow is Raya Holidays, and its a public holiday on Monday.. at least there is a few hours for Hubby to unwind and rest a little extra compared to working weekdays. Linaree will be here tomorrow afternoon to visit Baby and I.. Aunt Lin would prolly drop by again..and Ma-in-Law will follow her back to her house for the weekend, leaving Hubby, Baby and I to ourselves.. I need a few good DVDs badly! Aarrgghhhh!!!!

Jaden picked up another bad habit. Peeing on me while Hubby shampoos his hair. Hubby is trying to teach him to look at me and recognise me as "C A N T E E N" ... sigh** trust my Hubby to do all sorts of funny things.


The Smile that Brightens my day


Thursday, October 11, 2007

Moist Chocie Mudcake?

Did I say tea anyone the last time? Well, how would you like some really warm, moist lightish brown mud cake swooshed right out from somewhere?

YEAP! HE DID IT to ME at 6am in the morning! Of all times, when your alertness is way off.. and there goes.. *swoosh* something shoots right out like a water gun, the powerful type you buy at Toys'r'us and he decides to shoot it right over the changing counter.
Wanna be pissed also cannot because after that, he smiles and tabiks you!.. and to follow up after all that sweet smiles and all, he decides to clean up the place with his pee this time.. FRUST I TELL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Meddled with him, milk and all and some pampering before he decides it sleep time, it was already bright outside. about 9am. Tell me, would you be tired too and fall dead to the world too?

That is my Jaden for you. *sigh*


The father was unable to do his birth cert for him today. As usual, his father does not have any luck with all these registration departments.

Firstly, when we both did our IC, the father's IC's warganegara was not printed out clearly, making him not a Malaysian.

Then, his photo were such a blur, they have to retake for him and re-print it.. which means two trips down to Putrajaya.

Now, his father's surname is spelled differently in the Malaysian registrar database despite printed all correctly in his IC. So the father have to bring his birth cert down to the registrar where they will check with the Malacca side, before allowing Baby Jaden to have his birth cert.. unless Hubby and I want to take on a different family surname.

Malaysia negaraku!


Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Sleeping at 10am

Woke up to a small little rombongan, brought in by Hubby to see Baby Jaden who was still peacefully fast asleep like his mother this afternoon. He was babynapped by his Diana grandma and grand-aunty, who was busy checking him out. His eyes la, little mouth, nose, ear and hair and height and weight... *sigh* trauma I tell you!

Aunty Diana and Hubby's 3rd aunt came over to visit Baby, and also to bring my lunch from Aunt Lin, who cooked a whole lot of food for me. The food is enough to last me the whole week, and I ain't even sure if I could finish the food in a week..

Had quite a sleepless night last night as Baby decided that he wants to play and not sleep and coo to Daddy and Mummy at 5am onwards.. managed to put him down to bed at only about 10am today.. Naughty naughty.. Soon, its going to be feeding time and diaper change again.. got to grab dinner now before he wakes up!

Tomorrow Baby is going to get his birth cert done.. and the name is final!

JADEN SIMON YAP
MALE
28TH SEPT 2007
5:24PM
3.2KG
51CM
B/O of SIMON YAP & EMILY LOO


Tuesday, October 9, 2007

f.o.t.o.u.p.d.a.t.e.s

"Lets do the chicken dance!"



Mummy and Baby resting... so peaceful...



"*sigh* Can you just please leave me alone?"

Brightly cleaned..

My little monster was washed, lather in soap, wiped and waxed nicely... vacummed only now to be left at the parking to rest till I am fit enough to drive. OR I should say when Baby is ready to hit the road, then only Little Monster too.

Purring when I started him this afternoon, maxing out his power to prove to me he is still loyal and have the fire to hit the roads, taking Hubby and I wherever we want to go.

My little monster, my Hubby's and my loyal travel companion..

Soon, my love, soon we shall all go terrorizing the road again k?

Till then, do rest enough.. you deserve your little holiday!

Don't try!

and I mean it!
  • Don't try telling me that I look like a panda bear because I know my situation.
  • Don't say I look as if I lack of sleep for 120days because I am lacking of it and its all for a good cause.
  • Don't tell me to get more rest because if I could, I would and you don't well understand how newborns / babies would go all the way out to make you work...

but despite all these, I had managed to lose 10kgs since delivery. Just yesterday, when I went for my first check-up after the delivery, I was weighing at 51.1kg. That means 4 - 5 kgs more to lose and I am back at 45kg, the weight I was before I was pregnant, maybe 46 would be just ideal for me. *shrugs* Depends ler...

Doc was being so straight to my face last night that it made me shift uncomfortably in my seat.

Doc: Since you are breastfeeding, its best to use condom as your contraceptive. Unless you stop breastfeeding, then only you can continue taking the contraceptive pills.

eMs: Huh? (thinking :: You think I still want to have sex at this moment? I feeling sexy? NO WAY HOSAY PAL! and.. you mean I can already start all those humpings? Uurrgghhh.. I just gave birth wey.. gimme some rest!) o.Oh.. okies.. (already squirming so bad I could fall off my seat anytime)

Anyway, Doc said my uterus already went down and the stitches are fine.. all I have to do is go back in weeks to come to have a PAP smear, thats all and tata Doc till we get another Yap Jr... (not anytime soon tho.. I need all the rest after Baby is more or less settled..) I wanna go out with friends and have a coffee, a drink once in a while... and to wear heels and dresses and *sigh* skinny jeans if I could still possibly fit into one of those after my hip expanded during pregnancy.

Ma' sis came over last night to visit me, like... after how many 'years' after my delivery.. FINALLY SIS! YOU CAME! but at least you came!At least, your presence helped alot when I was rushing to get ready for Doc's appointment.
On another note, I want to congratulate you first on finally deciding the date of your ROM with David. Looking forward to attend your wedding next year and an Au-Yong Jr soon to follow-up! My Jaden needs a playmate la Che!

Tomorrow, aunty Diana would be bringing a rombongan of Pa-in-Law's sisters to come over and see Baby Jaden. Hubby told me to prepare myself for the endless auntie chatters.. Wonder how the situation would be like? heheh

Monday, October 8, 2007

so far your routine...

7 - 9 diaper change p/day
12 milk feeds 24/7
10 sterilizes p/day
1 bath p/day
Laundry every other 2 days
millions & zillions of kisses...

and its all worth working hard for...

for my love for you knows no boundaries...
my unconditional love for you


xoxo
Mummy~

Sunday, October 7, 2007

Tea?

Baby Jaden picked up a new habit. A very very bad one! Deserves to be spank but then again, its just figures of words from my mouth but he is still very naughty and deserves to be talked to in a stern voice!

Now, he holds his pee until Mummy and Daddy has wiped, cleaned, lotioned him nicely, ready to put on his diapers.. there he goes ---> waterworks, watering from left to right, either at Mummy and Daddy or his new clothes that was just put on...

Tell me, angry a not?

and then he smiles at you when you have to wipe, clean, lotioned him all over again.

*****

Hubby hallucinated today early in the morning and his fuse went off on me. Just because he was slow in deciphering the next steps on what to do after Baby Jaden pees on his new clothes, he started ##@!!*# ... hate it when it happens.. Triggers off the depression in me.. but what the heck, its bound to happen when one does not have enough sleep and a fuse that blows easily. Hopefully Baby Jaden would not grow up and learn those bad habits of his father...

Saturday, October 6, 2007

Snoring away...

"I am the future prom king! Its written all over my face!"


The two males in my life is now snoring away their weekend. Both father and son are having their sleep. The small one is just sleeping after his milk and diaper change while the father is catching up on lost sleep after a week of trying to cope with his fatherhood. Being parents ain't easy. You have to be on constant watchout for your kid, and its the motherly / fatherly instinct to want to protect their own child. Its true when I say that both father and child are spending their weekend away on the bed, dreaming of what-evers.. guess both of them will be spending much time later at night watching football. One hears the commentator, one watches and curses the opposing team. Soon, it will be both watching and cursing! Father and Son tag team...

Don't think I will ever bring Baby out till hes much more older now. Got a scare last night after I came home. Wiped baby clean of all germs and pray that he has my antibodies to stay healthy to fight off all those bacteria out there!

He got pampered a little too much last night from the girls that he thought he could get away with it with me early this morning but I could not care less. If he deserves a stern talk, then he shall have it! Can't keep carrying him whenever he starts his crocodile tears and wailing and screaming and screaming. Now he has moved on to screaming for things! Very naughty!

Almost everybody that saw him says that he looks like me. I beg to differ. I, somehow have a feeling that he will soon change his features to look more like his dad. A little a day.. so that we won't get a shock! Its not plastic surgery wey!

Doing a little housework, laundry and all now the house is quiet with just my feet shuffling around in slippers. Jaden has trained me to do things fast, just in case he decides to wail for his milk orders and diaper change again.. so till then, just pray for me that it will be a smooth flowing peaceful weekend for my family now.


b.r.e.a.k.i.n.g slowly

Baby just fell asleep after drinking 90ml of milk. Although I breastfeed, there are times when formula do come in handy, especially at nights like these. I do feed him formula once a day, depending on the time -usually at night so he would have a long, comfortable good night sleep. We, too the parents do get a good night sleep .. till he gets hungry again in about 3 hours... and the need to change the diapers..

Josie and Wei Ling took Hubby and I to The Curve earlier. I have to buy some essentials from Mothercare. Took baby out as there was no one to take care of him at home. Ma-in-law went to Aunt Lin's for the weekend, leaving both Hubby and I to our own personal time with Baby. Hubby, on the other hand, met up with the guys for dinner and drinks. He deserves the time out anyway after being such a darling at home, making sure I stay sane and happy and everything sweet laaa! Joy and Sonia then came over to my place, together with Josie and Wei Ling to teman me while Hubby was out. Girls fussing over Jaden. If only he knew what he could do, just by being himself and getting all the oohs and aahs from the girls.. such a heart-stealer! Hubby and I think hes going to be a heart-breaker too when he grows up, with that cheeky smirk!

Baby went for his first visit to the paediatrician today. Got him checked for jaundice, belly button, weight and health.. so far everything is going well. We, parents did a job well done so far.. plan to keep it going forever too.. got to bring him back end of this month for another check-up and immunization. Doc says Baby should weigh 1kg at the end of this month, which if he does, it means he is eating right.

As for me, I suddenly have sunken eyes and I can now feel my jawline so clearly compared to the days of pregnancy. Am feeling rather scared that I am growing skinny a little too fast and bad for health. Too thin means unhealthy and less milk production for Baby. Nay am I going to let that happen. Whatever it is, my baby should get all the right nutriens! My turn for checkup this Monday...

Have been having an on / off emotional breakdown. Just need to cry it out and I feel better. Think me going mad but guess this is also part of the process (part n parcel). It will pass.. I am confident of that because nothing will bring me down. I have Hubby's love and support and a Baby to be responsible for.. I am strong! At least I like to think so, because with positive thinking, it keeps me going the right direction!

Since Baby is fast asleep now, I better grab the opp to sleep too. Sleep is precious. Turning into bed now with Hubby.. nites!


i, eMs am ...

am smiling but..
am really feeling very low at the moment.
am feeling scared of every single minute there is.
am feeling like a failure for feeling this way.
am wanting to prove that I can be a successful, good mother but there is fear...
am feeling frustrated with ownself for not being able to understand baby.
am feeling psychologically tired about being a total failure.
am wanting to be there to help Hubby but mentally and physically unfit to..
am needing help but yet refuse to admit am weak.
am wanting to shower the 'babies' with attention but fear for germs on Jaden.
am needing to feel cuddled and hugs from Hubby yet I think I can be strong
am feeling the need to be strong for family

Help.. I am breaking down...

p/s: post-natal depression?

Friday, October 5, 2007

Dropped!

Last night, Baby Jaden's umbilical cord fell off. As in it dried up and came off on its own. Scared the shit outta Hubby and me because before that, as we were just going to bathe him, we saw a little pus at the belly button. Hubby panic and called Doc Yong. Was advised if it smells, then its best to head straight to the paediatrician. So both of us started hopping into Joy's car and headed straight to the medical center and seek for medical assistance since the paediatrician's clinic was closed. A little antibiotic and clean-up and we were sent home... Our little precious! Never had we, our heart jumped like that...

Today, Hubby had to head over to a client's office so Baby and I had to go for the 1st week check-up with Doc Altaf. So far, the belly button is fine but we were still advised to clean it with the antibiotics at least for two-five more days, just to make sure that the germs do stay away from our precious! His weight went up 300gms since birth.. he is supposed to weigh a kg by the end of this month... o.Oh and Doc says to sun him for at least 5-10 minutes in the morning sun.. but how on earth am I suppose to sun him in the morning sun when the cars are all zooming out their exhaust fumes?

Ma-in-Law went over to Aunt Lin's place today and she will be staying there till Monday. Good also as she seemed to be getting bored here. No friends to really chat with over a cup of coffee which she is so used to in Malacca... and also, her only source of entertainment is Animal Planet and Baby Jaden.

Am starting to get the hang of taking care of my son now and also predict his wake-up calls. Not always accurate but about there laaaa! Weekend is here but Hubby would be working his arse off as there are quite a number of things to get done, and he, too wants to spend some personal time talking and cooing to Baby Jaden. No more personal time for me.. its all about Jaden Jaden Jaden. As for me, I think I shall catch up on sleep and more sleep.. and more sleep because Baby Jaden is a night owl! He gets really active early in the 'morning' and dawn.. so wrong the timing for both Hubby and me.. *sigh*

Will be having my post-natal checkup with Doc Yong this Monday. Wonder if my weight did drop..so curious to find out but I do feel lighter and skinnier now.. psychologically anyway.. it helps a lot to build back confidence.. *wink* Have to fit back into my little black dresses now PC's wedding is drawing near!

Thursday, October 4, 2007

Gifts from you for me? Baby?

Tomorrow is Baby's first outing out of the house ever since he came home. Off to the doc for more immunisation. Confirm the father sure sakit hati when the Jaden cries out loud.. but its for his own good!

Realized that he is getting a little heavier and bigger everyday too now that Joy mentioned it. Soon, he will be a big boy in a glance and all we, parents will be left wondering, where is the little baby boy I gave birth to and the first smile he gave us? The innocence in him, trusting us to care and love him with all our heart and soul!



(warning: A MUKA TEBAL, TAK MALU POST coming up!)

Anyway, I appreciate all the gifts that you peeps has given to us! However I realized, other than clothes, which proves to be the most useful of all AT THE MOMENT... there are other things too that is useful if you are in a dilemma should you want to come visit me and get my baby something.. *GRIN* I know I tak malu but then again, its better than receiving something that I would put to store before Baby Jaden is big enough to use right? Might as well, let him use it now than later.. later only different gifts la!! DIAPERS are GOOD! DIAPERS are BEST! MAMY POKO NEWBORN DIAPERS 52 in a PACK is the BEST!!!!! hmm... Did i just HINT too CLEARLY now? =) If not, there are always skin regime products for the mummy... like what I asked of Linaree.. hehehehhe.. anyway just kidding! All you have to do is just come and say hi to the parents and visit Baby. It is more than enough to have your good wishes...



Breastmilk came to me already. So Baby is now mostly on feed.. hopefully it do him good and healthy.. Hes settled down a bit now and has learn how to smile and sometimes smirk at comments or when the father is talking to him.. anyway, if you are wondering if he looks like me or the father, we ourselves ain't sure yet either.. waiting for his full moon party then.. =)

Got to go now to attend to my housework before he works me again.. my Hubby's and my little BOSS!

*photos galore*

A happy, proud Daddy cradling Jaden


Jaden peacefully sleeping in Mummy's arms

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

So far so good...

So far, everything is going fine! *touch wood* Baby Jaden eats, sleeps, poo-ed & peed fine!

Just to update those faraway god-mothers and friends what Baby Jaden's been up to.. for your information when I was wiping his ass yesterday evening, with my back bent forward to have a closer look at his ass..(have to make sure kan, no shit stays..) he decided to let out a funny sound, coming from the ass crack. Yes! He farted right into my face! Try smelling it.. My nose didn't work till this morning then..

This morning, when he woke up, with his grandma's help in changing diapers and the whole process of wiping ass and all, just right after I cleaned him up nicely, put some baby lotion.. and as I was just going to pull the diaper under him, he treated me to tea. A little fountain squirted right onto my hands... Angry a not? =)

*sigh* What did I say about discovering new things everyday?

God-ma Joy measured him yesterday. He grew to 54cm from 51.1cm... Joy seems to have this thought that everyday he is growing and changing.. all I see is a hungry, wailing, impatient, fiesty BUT CUTE, ADORABLE and ADORABLE and ADORABLE and LOVELY and LOVELY and LOVELY and LOVELY baby Jaden!

*photos galore again..**
Crying out loud for milk...



Bedtime

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

LINAREE!

Yes.. u Linaree! I hope you read this before the weekend comes... coz this is memang dedicated to you.

Simon did smsed u but he smsed to the M'sian local number instead of S'pore num.. so that explains why the delay in the news reaching you but I think there were friends who told you that I was giving birth as you girls were chatting on msn.. (u know who -suekingkong)

And.. its not funny to sms people at about 3am in the morning, a few hours after the birth of my baby to ask if my baby is out? really really out? coz I remember smsing you to tell you that I was *censored* and *censored* again, with the rectum hurting, that it takes me half hour to turn from left to right...and right to left.. and my legs were just too numb and nerve-pulling to put it down straight.. Don't even ask me if I could even walk straight then... If I said that during pregnancy, I walked like a penguin and feel like a walrus.. Well, for your information, I walk worse than any fat animals without legs... so there.. till you come and visit my little baby, Hubby and I... I shall leave you with this un-called for names!


"LINAREE, YOU ARE THE WORST, BLUREST GIRL WITH SOTONG MESSAGES -SENT AT UNGODLY HOURS AND .... AARRRGGHHHHH!!!!!"

You know I love you girl!

**Muah muah**

Monday, October 1, 2007

Never easy

Who ever said bringing up children is an easy job?
Try having a newborn to start with. There is so much to worry about. The kid not eating right, not sleeping enough, perhaps overeating, pooing the right poo, peeing the right amount... is he cold? hot?

Baby Jaden has been working me OT. Seriously, I think my meal now is less than a quarter of what I eat when I was pregnant. Hubby and I think that we will lose weight rather fast now after all the kgs we piled together. But I can't lose it like what Hubby says because I have to think how on earth am I suppose to breastfeed him if I don't eat? No food for me means no milk production for him.. so guess Jaden wins again! Anyway he will always win until he can start to rationale on his own.. then its time to 'smooth' things out with him. =)

I have not slept last night. He was sticking to me like glue, asking for milk and more milk!

I let Hubby sleep through the night because he has work to do today! He needs all the concentration and peace of mind to run things.. anyway, I am getting the hang of most stuff concerning Baby so might as well try to handle him single-handedly...

Finally caught some sleep.. a good 2 hour sleep without Baby screaming and wailing and seeking attention. Got Hubby just to watch out..

Woke up just in time to breastfeed him.. and Joy came just in time to let me relieve me of my duties for about a good 20minutes while I went to sit in a tub of salt water to disinfect the wound... and wipe myself clean, wash up after a mad mad day!

Today is the first time Hubby and I bathed Jaden, of course with the help of his god-mother Joy... thankfully she was here to help! o.Oh that reminds me to send all my thanks to all the good wishes. =) and of course Fiona and Mei Mei from Joy's side.. I really appreciate the gifts you girls gave to Jaden.. will bring him around to say a personal thanks once he grows up! *gRin*
and of course for Hubby and my own friends.. no need la to say all the thank yous and appreciation because you guys know we do really thank you and appreciate every single thing!!

Hes changing almost everyday, from a puffy face (amniotic sac for 10 months, no kidding what it does to your face!) and now..slowly taking shape to leng chai...

Had a slight problem today. Baby kept pooing.. looked more like diarrhea to me and that he kept screaming for milk but it just does not really seemed to agree with him tummy. So after a while, Hubby and I thought its best now just to give him the breast and let him suckle on it as long as he want. Off with the formula milk.. RIght now, hes sleeping.. just like a while ago, which he too allowed me to sleep for a good one hour...

*sigh* its really stressful as its just Hubby and I taking care of Baby Jaden. Understanding newborn is a totally different new language, course to us... takes time I guess...

Wish us all the luck now yea..